Preparing for your baby's arrival

When the hubby and I first found out that I was pregnant, we were of course, very ecstatic.  But after the initial joy of the news, we realized we had so many things to prepare for.  It was overwhelming just thinking about the things we will be needing, especially since we are shuttling between two countries.  We had to have two of most things.  But, I can say that I am luckier than most people, since we did not have to spend so much on the baby's things because of family and friends who gave us a lot of the things we will be needing. 

So, what did we do to make the buying not so painful? 
1. Decide on the things you need to buy. We decided on the things we felt needed to be brand new for the baby and then we started to be on the lookout for Baby Expos and baby store deals happening. 

Among the things that have to be brand new are the following:
a. Stroller
b. Infant Car Seat
c. Breast pump
d. Mattress

Safety experts do not recommend buying second-hand strollers and car seats unless you trust the owner, because these items may have been damaged in an accident, putting into question the safety of your car seat or stroller.

Breast pumps are also not meant to be shared for health reasons (since breast milk after all, is body fluid).  In fact, the warranty of breast pumps become void if it is found out that there were multiple users for it.

2. Buy early and in batches. We decided to buy baby stuff early and in small quantities so we would not feel the pinch when the bills came.  Other people do not want to stock up on things early because it takes up a considerable space at home.  But for us, we decided to stock up on those things as we felt the good deals may not be around anymore when I am close to my delivery date.

3. Set aside money every month for the hospital bill as well as other expenses. Another thing we did was to start setting aside money every month for the hospital expenses of my delivery.  We started doing this from the time we found out I was pregnant.  We jacked up the estimated cost also so that we are prepared should the expenses go up unexpectedly.

4.  Do not go overboard by buying too many baby clothes. When we were buying stuff for the baby, we just made sure the baby would have something to wear in the first few days of life.  We knew our relatives and friends would most likely be giving us clothes as gifts, so we decided to just use the money for something else.

5. Order online.  I would frequently check Amazon for items I would be using when the baby came.  A lot of the items I bought were significantly cheaper than those you would find in the store.

6. Check the latest guidelines on newborn safety before buying anything. Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS) has been a major concern over the last few years, hence, many things have changed in terms of caring for our newborn baby.  Read up on things that may potentially be harmful for the newborn and check the recommended clothing, beddings, etc to prevent such incident from happening.

By doing all of these, we were pretty much ready 2 months before my due date.  It helped that many people actually gave us a lot of gifts for the baby.  But by starting early, it also did not hit our monthly budget drastically.  We barely felt the stress of the preparation.

Preparing for the arrival of our little one is a very exciting period not only for you as a couple, but also for your extended family, so you shouldn't remember this as a period of stress, instead you should enjoy the journey.  After all, you were given 9 months to prepare for this. 

11 Signs you have a good partner

Over the years, I have seen a lot of failed relationships, both from friends and relatives alike.  It is heartbreaking to hear how the supposed "love of your life" can turn into the person you never ever want to see again.

On the other hand, I also see relationships that have survived many trials, through many decades, and through many kilograms.  Such relationships are what inspired me to write this.  If we have found a good life partner, we should cherish them and we should never stop working to make the relationship last.  After all, marriage does not mean you can now stop all the efforts you have been doing for your partner.  In fact, marriage means you have to work even harder for the relationship to last.

Below are just some of the signs to say that you have found a good husband:

1.  He will always make time for you.  A person who gives you importance will always make time for you.  He will find ways to make sure he is there for you. But if he doesn't give yo importance, he will always have excuses
2.  He is a devoted father.  A good spouse should also be a good father. The responsibility of raising kids does not and should not fall solely on the mother, especially in this day and age where equality of the sexes is always being pushed, and women are also holding leadership roles.
3.  He takes care of your parents. A husband who loves you will not only take care of you but also of the people you care about.  So, if he takes care of your parents (even without you asking him to), then he is definitely a keeper.
4.  He is a good son.A good husband, usually is not only a good husband, but a good son and son-in-law as well.  How can he treat you well if he cannot even treat his family nicely?
5.  He puts God in the center of your relationship. Couples who put God in the center of their relationship can usually weather all trials that come their way while keeping their faith in God and in each other.
6.  He loves you for who you are. In a relationship, you should never have to pretend to be someone you are not.  Your husband should not love you for who he wants you to be, rather, he should love you for who you truly are.
7.  He is attentive to your needs. A man who truly loves you will know what you need even before you ask for it because he is sensitive to your needs and because he really knows you.
8.  He is always there to support you. In every relationship, it is our obligation to always be supportive of our spouse.  We should be there when he/ she is soaring high, but we should be there even more when he/ she is falling.
9.  He treats you as an equal partner in the relationship. Your partner should always treat you as an equal in the relationship.  He should not feel superior nor inferior.  When partners treat each other as equals, there will be less conflict.
10.  He is hardworking. A good partner will always have your best interest at heart.  Yes, love makes the world go round.  But in the real world, love will not give you food for your stomach, a roof over your head, or even clothes on your back. We also need to work to survive.  We should not look at the bank account before we enter a relationship. Instead, we should look at the attitude of the person.  After all, hard work goes a long way.
11.  He appreciates you. A man who loves you appreciates you for who you are and what you are to him.  When a man appreciates you, he will take care of you.

If you have found a partner who has all of these traits, do not let him go!  If he has hit the jackpot with you, you have also hit the jackpot with him.  Be thankful that in this big, crazy world, you have found the one that was truly meant for you. 

10 Reasons why travelling is good for young children

I started  bringing baby J on my trips overseas when she was only 6 months old.  Many people do not understand why I bring her on my trips, some have even disapproved of it.  But, why did I choose to continue doing it (until now)?  First of all, I was (and still am) breastfeeding her.  Second, I have vowed to myself that baby J should always be the first priority. So, the hubby and I decided this was the best thing to do for baby J.


Baby J just turned 20 months a few days ago.  In 20 months, she has been to 13 countries and 16 cities.  True, it has not always been very convenient travelling with a baby, but the hubby and I would not have it any other way.


When I look at baby J now, I am thankful that we always bring her with us for the following reasons:
1. Travelling is a good exposure to people.  I have noticed that Baby J is not afraid of people.  When we go out and she meets other kids, she is the one who approaches them to say "Hi!".  She does not get intimidated even of the older kids.  When we were hearing Mass during one trip, she suddenly walked up to a boy of about 8, and suddenly hugged him.
2. Travelling makes your baby adaptable.  Because we travel often, baby J never has trouble with new environments.  She never gets fussy when we are in a new place.  Instead, she would happily invite me to explore the new surroundings with her.
3. Travelling is a very good bonding experience for the family. When we travel, we forget about work (at least for a few days), and focus all our attention to each other.  This allows us to be together physically and emotionally 24/7.
4. Travelling exposes your baby's palate.  Wherever we go, we try the different specialties each place has to offer.  Baby J happily tries it with us.  Today, baby J eats just about anything.  She also loves trying out new food.
5. Travelling is educational. We may think our babies do not remember the things that they see and experience, but baby J proves me wrong every time.  She may not yet be able to talk to me in full sentences, but she shows me that she remembers everything she sees and experiences.  For our part, we have always talked to her like she were an adult.  We always point out new things, we always explain how things work, etc.  Surprisingly, the next time baby J sees a particular item or picture, she can easily identify it.
6. Travelling makes your baby less fussy during the journey.  In all this time that we have been travelling with baby J, I noticed that she is quite okay on the plane.  While other babies keep crying on the plane, she just goes about entertaining herself with the things she sees, be it a plane ride, a train ride, or even a boat ride.
7.  Travelling creates many good memories.  True, your babies may not remember all the details of the trips they have been on as babies or toddlers.  But when they grow up and see the family pictures of those trips, it will definitely bring back good memories for everyone.
8.  You never have to experience missing your baby.  When you bring your baby on your trips, you never have to feel the guilt that you left your baby behind or even have to feel lonely because you miss your baby.
9.  Having your baby with you makes travelling more fun.  Despite the logistical nightmare of travelling with a baby, we have to admit, travelling is more fun with our kids around.  Seeing their awe and amazement gives us more than enough happiness already.
10. Travelling enhances your child's creativity. With recommendations coming out from the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) about avoiding all forms of media for children less than 2 years of age as well as  limiting the viewing time for older children, what better way to enhance our child's creativity than by exposing them to many different things in this world?  Travelling  helps them spend more time outdoors, to enhance their imagination and free play.  Seeing the world also helps to address the curiosity of  our children.


I have attached the link to the AAP advocacy below:


http://www.aap.org/en-us/advocacy-and-policy/aap-health-initiatives/Pages/Media-and-Children.aspx






With all these reasons in mind, I would not have it any other way.  Travelling is definitely more fun when we are with the ones we love.  After all, money can never pay for the experience and the memories we are forming and sharing with them.

Making learning fun

Baby J is almost 18 months, and people have been asking me if I am planning to send her to Childcare soon.  My answer is "No." I am saying No because the minute your child goes to school (be it childcare, pre-school, kindergarten, etc), they are automatically more prone to infections.  Next, no one really watches what they eat in school anymore, unlike when they are at home being watched over.  Another reason is the debate of when is it too early to send your child to school.  Some people say that it burns out the child too early if they are sent to school at such a young age.  Some studies have shown no major difference if you send your child to school early or late, but others are showing that children tend to perform better if they are not prematurely made to go to school.  

Mine is just a personal opinion.  I am not imposing it on anyone, and I am not judging people who send their kids to school early. To each his own.  No one has the right to say that he is right and you are wrong.  But one thing is for sure, to make kids learn, they should find enjoyment in what they do.  I would just like to share what Baby J and I do to make learning fun for her.

 1. Teaching through music.  Baby J loves music.  She would even stop walking when she hears a song just to dance to the beat.  She would also verbalize the song she wants the hubby or I to play.  So, because of this interest, I try to teach her by way of music.  I teach her ABCs by singing different versions of the ABC song.  I teach her body parts through song as well.  She gives me her undivided attention when I sing her songs, at the same time, she is learning through the song as well.

2. Let the environment be your book.  I take advantage of the things we see around us, and the places we go to teach Baby J. When we see a bird or a dog in the park, I tell her about them.  When we see fruits in the grocery, I tell her what they are, even discussing their colors with her.  By doing this, I know I am imparting knowledge while she is out exploring her surroundings.

3.  Functions of daily living can be a lesson as well.  Everyday, when I play with Baby J in the shower, I try to teach her the different parts of her body.  I also teach her how she should clean herself in the shower.  As a result, I am proud to say that as early as 15 months, she can already identify 7 body parts (when, based on the Developmental milestone, she is only required to be able to name 2 to be at par with age).  Now, she not only points to those body parts when asked, she can even name some of them herself.

4.  Tell her stories.  During our down time, I just tell Baby J stories about the things around us.  She listens intently to my stories when I do that, and even tries to converse with me in her unique baby language.  We also never used baby talk with baby J.  I think this also helped her to understand adult words faster.  Even before she turned one, she could already follow simple commands, proving to us that she really does understand what we are saying.

5.  Correlate with things your baby already knows.  I am proud to say that I taught baby J how to say her auntie's name (A-i), by teaching her to use the words and sounds she already knows.  True enough, after teaching her just once how to say it, she has learned it and has been fondly calling her "A-i" a lot!

 I am not lucky enough to spend the whole day with baby J as I am working full time as well.  But every spare minute I have, I try to spend it with her, taking advantage of whatever situation we experience to allow her to learn things.  You will be surprised how fast babies and toddlers learn. Do not think of teaching them as a chore, because in the process of teaching them, you will learn many things as well.  I hope you've picked up a few tips and tricks from this.

Learning about our child's EQ

Babies grow up very fast.  One day they are so dependent on you for everything, the next day, they start to let go of your hand and start exploring the world on their own.  Before you even have time to catch your breath, your baby is already a grown-up.

Baby J is now 17 months old.  It has been 17 months of joy and hardship for the hubby and I.  It is so much fun to watch Baby J learn new things everyday.  She is like a sponge.  She absorbs everything she sees and hears.  Everyday, she learns new words to say, does new things, and discovers things she likes and doesn't like. 

It is also at this stage, where our actions influence our kids the most.  Babies observe and absorb everything around them, from the environment, to our disposition, to how we react to things around us.  They are smarter than what we give them credit for.  

Hence, I would like to share the article below about our children's EQ.  EQ is not innate within a child.  It is also influenced by the environment and by the people around the child.  Please read on to find out the ten things you need to know about your child's EQ.

What You Need To Know About Your Child’s EQ (Emotional Intelligence)

By Randall Zernzach, MD, Developmental/Behavioral Pediatrician

We all want the best for our child. We want them to be healthy, happy and successful. But, we place so much emphasis on their IQ and behaviors that we neglect the importance of understanding their EQ, and how it can make a difference in their personal success. Here are ten things you need to know about your child’s EQ:

1. “Babies communicate with emotions before they learn to speak.” Emotions are truly “the language of infancy.” Long before a functional expressive vocabulary develops, children have a large repertoire of emotional expressions- anger, fear, sadness, joy, love, surprise, shame, guilt, and embarrassment.
2. “Emotions, even negative ones, are natural and have a purpose.” Emotions are an essential part of what makes us human. They have functions for us that are very important. Feelings “inform” our higher cognitive abilities. Fear, for example, can serve to keep us safe and help us make good choices. ANGER can help motivate us to make positive changes in our environment. Sadness lets us know the extent of the love and joy we are capable of.
3. “Negative emotions need to be validated, not dismissed.” Successful management and regulation of negative emotions is a prerequisite to finding long-term joy and happiness in life. A child cannot learn to manage negative feelings if he is not taught the first steps in recognizing them in himself when they are being experienced. It is very difficult to see your child feeling sad or angry. However, when you do not allow them to express the feeling, you lower their emotional intelligence.
4. “Children need a safe environment to express their feelings.” A child needs a home where they are free to express their feelings and emotions without punishment, ridicule, or shame. By allowing children a safe expression of their emotions you increase their self-esteem, and build a relationship of trust, Home is the optimal environment for nurturing emotional intelligence, and connecting with your child.
5. “Children feel emotions intensely.” Children are not able to easily control an emotion that surfaces (it may even surprise them!). It is best to coach children to what they can learn to control: what they do with the emotion. For example, “it’s OK to feel angry inside, it’s not OK to hit, kick or bite.” When calm is restored, a discussion about triggering events or solving problems can ensue.
6. “Children need to learn and practice identifying, labeling, and managing emotions (i.e. EQ skills) at an early age.” Children need to be taught from infancy and beyond toddler years how to identify, label and manage their emotions. Like learning any new developmental skill of importance, education and practice is needed. There will be “failures”- lots of them. But there will be successes too as automatic neurological-pathways of response are established. Parents can increase a child’s EQ (emotional intelligence) by coaching and creating teaching moments in everyday home life starting at birth.
7. “Encourage ‘I’ statements.” Encourage the habit of expressing what you feel instead of what’s wrong (or right) with a situation. For example, “I feel mad when you say mean words like that,” or “I feel happy inside when you share with me.”
8. “Know ahead of time what to say during an emotional display.” Many parents “shoot from the hip” when trying to calm down an emotional toddler. There is a great sense of satisfaction that comes from knowing at least how to start coaching your child through his strong expressions of emotions before they occur. And, most importantly, you are more able to control your own emotional reactivity and teach effectively.
9. “Model appropriate EQ skills yourself.” Children are always watching their parent’s emotional reactions in every day situations. In many ways, children mirror our own behavior. Therefore, start identifying your own feelings, and be aware of how you manage them. If you’re angry and yelling, chances are you’ll find your child yelling too! Remember, “School is never out at home.”
10. “EQ skills can be taught by parents and learned by children.” It is now widely accepted that a child’s EQ can be profoundly affected by parenting and environment. It is much less genetically predisposed than the IQ. An EQ smart parent can have an EQ smart child. Learn how to be your child’s own EQ Coach.

"Mommy, Mommy, Mommy..."

Baby J is now at an age where she can express what she likes and what she doesn't like.  She can express it in her own language, in actions, or by the language we adults are currently using, modern English.

She is also at the stage where she can be very clingy to Mommy.  She will not go with anyone, she will not go anywhere, if it is not Mommy.  I will be lying to you if I tell you I do not get tired of this set-up.  I cannot even go to the toilet, much less take a shower, in peace.  That small voice will start shouting: "Mommy! Mommy!" when I start to walk away from her, even after explaining to her about where I am going or what I am going to do. She will also start knocking (yes, she has learned how to knock this early) on the bathroom door just to see my face.  True, it is indeed very tough to not be able to do the things you have to do.  But, on the other hand, I am just savoring the moment.

The daily routine with baby J, the sweet talks and cuddles as we wind down for the night, are the things I look forward to each day.  I know that there will come a time when she will not want to be this clingy to Mommy.  There will come a time when she might even avoid Mommy and keep secrets from Mommy.  That time may or may not arrive, but at least, for the moment, I am everything to her, as she is everything to me.  She may not remember all the things we are doing now, but I am sure the feeling that she has always been the top priority of Mommy and Daddy will linger and help her grow up to be a fine, young lady in the future.  

Dealing with Gastroenteritis

Baby J just recovered from a bout of Gastroenteritis (which lasted all of 5 days).  It was 5 days of hell for the family, for baby J it was the total feeling of being unwell and not understanding why it's happening to her, for the hubby and I, it was the constant fear of our baby being dehydrated from all the fluid loss from both the diarrhea and vomiting.

Being both medical doctors, we of course, knew what to look out for, but when you see your baby having 6 episodes of diarrhea per day with 4 episodes of vomiting, you become extra scared because you know that dehydration is especially dangerous for babies who have a smaller fluid volume.

But the past few days of baby J's illness made me appreciate breastfeeding even more.  Even if baby J had no appetite for solid food, she at least, still continued breastfeeding (maybe even more so during this time). And because breast milk contains more whey proteins than casein, it allowed for quick and easy digestion for her.  At least, I knew she was still being nourished despite her high output.

This experience thus prompted me to share some important things regarding dehydration.

Bring your child to the doctor when you see the following WARNING SIGNS (taken from National University Hospital Kids Gastroenteritis information pamphlet):

• Signs of dehydration:
• No tears when crying
• Sunken eyes
• Less than 5 wet diapers in one day
• Dry skin, mouth, and tongue
• Sunken fontanelle
• Not willing to drink
• Frequent vomiting for more than 4 to 6 hours
• More than 6 large volume, watery diarrheas in one day
• Stomach pain that is severe and does not stop
• Fast breathing
• Very sleepy or very fussy
• Cool or grayish skin
• Severe head or neck pain
• Green vomitus
• Blood in the vomit or diarrhea
• Crying and bringing the knees up to stomach
• Fever of above 39 degrees celsius, for longer than 12 hours

 It is always heart-breaking to see your child fall ill, but in these situations, vigilance is key.  Just read through it, it may come in handy one day (although, I, of course do not wish for any parent to have the need for it if possible).