Why travelling is good for your family

Our family travels.  A lot.  We have travelled more when the kids were born compared to when it was just the two of us.

True, travelling with little kids is not exactly a walk in the park.  But, every time we travel, the whole 24 hours of each day is spent with each other.  We do not have to go to work, our daughter does not have to go to school.  Our time is focused on each other, sharing experiences, finding joy in the littlest of things.

Travelling is our way of bonding with each other.  Travelling helps us create more memories with our kids.  Travelling exposes them to different cultures, different food, different races and nationalities.  It also teaches them flexibilty.  They can adjust to any situation without difficulty.

Because our kids have been travelling since they were young, they have never had crying moments on the plane. In fact, they enjoy travelling.  They enjoy the time we spend together. They enjoy looking at pictures of our trips, especially pictures of when they were younger.  They like the idea that they were there with us on all those trips. Sure, they may not remember everything they experienced on those trips, but when they see themselves in those pictures, they also smile and feel good.  They know that they were part of the experience.

But for me, the best part of travelling is seeing the excitement on your kids' faces when they see new things, experience new places, try new food.  Travelling is an experience and learning not only for the kids, but for the parents as well.

So, travel with your kids.  It will never be a waste.  Look past the packing and unpacking, but on the time spent together. You will not regret it.

A blessing or a struggle?

Today, as we celebrate our seventh wedding anniversary, I come to the realization that we have come a long way.

We started our married life overseas, away from family and friends.  It was okay at first, when it was just the two of us.  But, once the kids came, I used to always think that I was at a disadvantage compared to the locals because we did not have our families to help us.  It was made especially hard because we didn't know how we would balance work and taking care of our tiny humans.  

I used to envy my friends because they can leave their little ones with their parents and just pick them up after work, while I did not have that option.  It takes a village to raise a child.  But my village consisted of two people, myself and the hubby.  Sure, we had a helper in the house.  But, it is hard to leave your little one with a stranger you know nothing about.

So, despite now being a village of 3 people, we still did most of the caring for the child between the two of us.  Believe me, the struggle is real.  The stress is real!  When you're at work, your mind is preoccupied thinking how your little one is doing.  When you get home, you have to express milk, let the baby latch on, do the laundry, sterilize bottles, shower the baby, and do chores and feed yourself.

But now, as I look back at the last seven years, I feel blessed to have done it without our extended families for the most part.  This made our family closer to each other. 

This made days off cherished moments together.  This made us excited to come home at the end of the day just to be together as a family.  This made every time together a happy one.This made us look forward to spending time with each other after a long day.

Our work schedules also do not follow the normal 9-5 routine, so every time we have a semblance of a normal work schedule, we savor each moment.  And because it is just the four of us for the better part of the year ( our families do visit from time to time), this experience has really made our family grow emotionally.

Everything is done as a unit of four.  Our world revolves around each other.  We only had to adjust to each other's quirks, no one else's.  We also always still find new things to do together as a family.

What used to be a struggle, is actually now a blessing.  And I am thankful for that. We also became stronger people because of this experience, and I wouldn't trade it for anything!

My breastfeeding journey

After 6 years and 11 months, my breastfeeding journey has come to an end.  

I started breastfeeding immediately after I delivered baby J back in October 2012.  I breastfed her even when I was pregnant with baby A.  Baby J only stopped breastfeeding when I was nearing my third trimester of pregnancy.

Now, baby A has finally stopped breastfeeding, after 37 months.  For the last three nights, baby A has not asked to latch on.  My breastfeeding journey has finally ended. 

 Before baby A turned 3 years old, I was already telling her that we will stop our breastfeeding journey after her third birthday. She would always say yes. But when her birthday came, and she still asked to latch on, I knew I had to continue. After all, people always said it is best when kids self-wean. So, every night for the month after her third birthday, she would still latch on.  But surprisingly, the night she turned 3 years and one month, she just slept without asking to latch on. It has been that way ever since.

So, how do I feel? I feel both sad and relieved at the same time. I feel relieved because my body is my own again. I can finally sleep continuously at night without having to raise my shirt for my baby to latch on. But, I also feel sad. I feel sad because we won’t be sharing that bonding experience anymore, an experience that only the two of us share every night. I feel sad because I have to tell myself that I no longer have a baby. She is now my little girl. 

It has been a wonderful journey for me. I feel lucky that I was able to breastfeed my girls for so long. I feel lucky that I never had any milk supply  issues.  But most of all, I feel lucky that this experience has created a very close bond between me and my girls. And I wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world!

Raising two kids

Raising babies is not "one size fits all".  Every baby will have his or her own quirks as well as his or her own personality.  It is a new learning experience for us parents every time.

People always assume that baby number one will always be luckier because they get all the attention, all the new things, and they get the most love.  This may not necessarily be the case.  Do not forget, with the firstborn, you are inexperienced parents.  All the inadvertent mistakes and accidents happen with the eldest, but not with the succeeding children.  Take myself for example, when I was a baby, I was accidentally dropped by my parents because both thought the other was already holding me.  But, no issues there, I am still a happy, healthy adult.

Now that I have two babies of my own, parenting has become infinitely harder, dealing with double tantrums and meltdowns as well as double demands.  But there is also something fascinating about having two kids.

From the time baby A was born, the hubby and myself always made conscious effort to give her as much attention and exposure as baby J got when she was a baby.  We also made sure she did not get purely hand-me-downs from baby J.

But, something I noticed with baby A is, she learned faster and reached milestones even earlier than baby J.  I attribute this to the fact that she looks up to her sister and tries to mimic everything baby J does.  Because of this, she walked and ran earlier, even potty trained earlier.  She even acts like she's the older sister sometimes.

Two toddlers running around the house is more challenging, but it is also double the fun.  It particularly melts my heart when I see them so happy to be with each other, to share the world with each other.  Baby J has also matured with the arrival of Baby A.  She takes time to teach the little one - how to say a word properly, help the little one with opening her food, feeding her. 

So, if you are still asking yourself if you want only one child or have more, just go for it.  There will always be more work, more expense, more riot.  But, there will also be more fun, more happiness and more love.  Just enjoy the ride!

Don't stop learning

When we started our family, I decided to leave the hospital for a less time-consuming job because I did not want my children growing up without me by their side, but on call in the hospital.  It was a very tough decision for me because I was doing well in the hospital and I enjoyed what I was doing.  But, for the sake of our kids, one of us had to sacrifice our career to give the children the attention and time they needed.  Being the mother, naturally, it made more sense for me to do it.

I do miss my profession, but I never had regrets about my decision.  Leaving the hospital does not mean I stopped learning.  I even started learning new things.  I did not want to stagnate. I wanted to remain sharp.  So, I made sure to attend courses every year. 

After my husband finished his further studies, I decided to take up a Master degree course. We discussed it and weighed the odds.  I was pregnant with baby A during that time.  Since my course was self-funded,  we decided to start it sooner rather than later.  At least when baby A starts pre-school, I would be finished with my three-year course.  

I applied and got into a distinguished university in the UK.  I started my course when baby A was a month old and baby J was turning 3 years old.  The journey has not been easy for me.  There were many times I chastised and asked myself why I even considered doing it. Besides maintaining a full-time job which involved travelling across the region, I was also a hands-on mom, and an entrepreneur.  I barely had time to read through my lessons, much less submit all the papers that were due, and attend the lectures happening in the wee hours of the morning.  There were times I really wanted to quit. There were also many times I was arguing with my husband already because of too many things on my plate.  The children do not understand deadlines and failing marks.  All they understood was, when Mommy is home, they had to get 100% attention.  I tried to give them that.  I also made sure I passed all my courses, and gave my best at work.  Which left me with five hours of sleep a night, or less.

But, we made it!  I am due to submit the final paper of my second year of studies tomorrow. The next year will be devoted to my dissertation.  My learning journey is not finished.  But, I feel good about myself.  I have done something for myself without sacrificing my kids.

Now, off to my next lesson... drums!

Motherhood

Motherhood is long, tough journey that is not for the faint of heart. Motherhood means sacrificing yourself for your little one. Motherhood means hanging up your two-piece swimsuit for something that will cover up as much of your stretch marks and cellulites as possible. Motherhood is not getting a full night's sleep because your kids are sick. Motherhood is waking up early to prepare your kids for school no matter how late you went to bed. Motherhood is giving up your most favorite food because your kids want to eat it too. Yes, motherhood is not for everyone.  

But, for those of us who forged bravely into motherhood, it also means sloppy kisses at all hours of the day, endless hugs into the night, and unconditional love from those tiny humans.

Last night, while preparing my eldest for bed, I was telling her that when she grows older, she will not want to go out with mommy anymore, that she would prefer to go out with her friends.  She suddenly hugs me tightly and tells me: " Never! I will always want to go out with you! Forever!"  I know she feels this way because she is still so young, but to hear those words from my little girl absolutely melted my heart.

I don't think any parent will tell you that parenting is a breeze.  But, we do it anyway. Because the rewards far outweighs all the hardship.  Children make us feel alive and they fill our hearts with so much love and joy.  I think children prolong our lives just by being around us.  They make us appreciate the little things - the simple joys of spending time together, of sharing an ice cream bar, of taking a stroll in the park.

Yes, I am a very tired mother.  But, I am also very happy. My heart is full.

Travelling breastfeeding mom

I am a travelling Mom. I am a breastfeeding Mom.  When you put both together, it can be a difficult situation.


I travel for work. A lot.  And when I do travel, it is with the whole family.  But, when I need to travel for an overnight trip only, I do not bring the kids along anymore.  On such a trip, the most important accessory I need to bring is my breast pump.


When baby J was almost 2 years old, I had to go on an overnight trip.  I forgot to bring my breast pump, so initially I thought I could last overnight without it, given that my milk supply was significantly less than when she was a newborn.  But I was wrong.  My breasts became so engorged I had to go to the nearest shopping center to get one before I screamed in pain!  I learned from that trip. After that incident, my breast pump is the first thing I pack.


In my earlier days as a breastfeeding, travelling Mom, I would just bring along my manual breast pump to express milk and throw it away.  I did this because most hotel rooms do not have a freezer compartment in their small refrigerators.  I was not comfortable travelling for hours on end with unfrozen breast milk hence the decision to just throw it away instead of risking giving spoiled milk to my baby.  But, eventually, I decided to prepare for it.


So, what do I do when I need to travel?


1. Bring all my ice packs.
2. Bring enough breastfeeding bags.
3. Bring an insulated bag.


When I get to the check-in counter at the airport, I check with the crew whether I can bring the ice pack on my carry-on luggage or not.  I do not want to risk my ice pack being confiscated.


Once I get to the hotel, I leave my ice packs in their freezer straight away to give it as much time to freeze for my trip back home.  Every time I express milk, I make sure I keep it in an insulated bag with label before I give it to the staff for freezing.  I also always remind them that it is breast milk to ensure that they take very good care of it.


Once in awhile, I get lucky and I get to stay in a hotel with a freezer in the room (such as today). This is automatic plus points for me!

Even if the freezer is small, I am happy that I get to keep the milk in my own ref and not in a public refrigerator where I do not even have direct access.


When I am travelling, I make sure that every milk bag contains only 100ml or less.  Even if generally, airport staff are more accommodating with breast milk, I do not want to risk it being confiscated. 


Lastly, I always get the milk from the freezer only when I am about to leave.  I then make sure that I surround all the milk bags with ice pack.  The ultimate goal is to arrive home with milk that is still frozen.


It may seem like a great inconvenience when travelling.  But, seeing the number of expressed milk bags you bring home is totally worth it!