Travelling without Baby

Exactly one week ago, I took my first business trip without my baby. That was the first time I travelled light in ages. In fact, I did not even have to check-in my luggage. I was supposed to feel relieved and more comfortable. But, it didn't make much difference to me. I was still travelling with baggage. I travelled with a heavy heart, having to leave my daughter for the first time since she was born. I was very worried that she won't be able to sleep without me, that she would cry when she didn't see me come home that night. But, babies are naturally resilient and tougher than they look. She was actually fine in the three days I was away. She ate very well the whole time, played, slept, and did her daily routine. She also never cried, except for brief periods in the wee hours of the morning (as usual). I missed her terribly when I was away, and I was very worried about how she would react to my absence. But as it turns out, the baby is tougher than the mommy. She was quite happy in the company of her dad, grandparents, aunt, and uncle, while I was miserably counting the hours until I came home to be with her again. This experience taught me that we should never underestimate the little humans. They are tougher than we take them for. But of course, I still want to be with her as much as possible. After all, our kids need our presence and not our presents, as the saying goes.

A Good Mom

While in the mall a few days ago, I chanced upon a colleague from work.  Since I was with my family, I naturally introduced her to everyone (my parents, the husband, and our baby).  We started talking about my baby.  Knowing the nature of my job, she eventually asked me who was taking care of our baby when I had to travel.  So, I mentioned that I bring along the baby on all my trips, to which she replied: " Ah, you're a good Mommy!"

I never once stopped and thought about whether I was being a good Mommy to my daughter or not.  I always just tried to do my best.  But hearing those words was actually quite flattering, especially coming from a "veteran mom".

But while some people commend me for trying my best to balance home life with career, I have also met some mothers who have criticized me for it.  One even told me that I have an issue of not being able to "let go".  Well, I say, different strokes for different folks.  How can I let go of a baby who cannot walk, cannot talk, and cannot even feed herself yet? I do not plan on coddling my baby, but I do not want to force her to mature before she is ready either.

Who's to judge whether you are a good mom or a bad mom?  For me, as long as you do your best for the welfare of your child, you are already a good mother.  Different mothers have different ideas on how to raise their kids.  So if someone has a different style than yours, it doesn't make them a bad mother.  We just need to be more open minded.

I would also like to share this article (written by a mother) that has been floating around on facebook.  I'm sorry I do not know the name of the woman who wrote this, but what she wrote is so apt for this post. Here it goes:

To the mom who’s breastfeeding: Way to go! It really is an amazing gift to give your baby, for any amount of time that you can manage! You’re a good mom.
To the mom who’s formula feeding: Isn’t science amazing? To think there was a time when a baby with a mother who couldn’t produce enough would suffer, but now? Better living through chemistry! You’re a good mom.
To the cloth diapering mom: Fluffy bums are the cutest, and so friendly on the bank account. You’re a good mom.
To the disposable diapering mom: Damn those things hold a lot, and it’s excellent to not worry about leakage and laundry! You’re a good mom.
To the mom who stays home: I can imagine it isn’t easy doing what you do, but to spend those precious years with your babies must be amazing. You’re a good mom.
To the mom who works: It’s wonderful that you’re sticking to your career, you’re a positive role model for your children in so many ways, it’s fantastic. You’re a good mom.
To the mom who had to feed her kids from the drive thru all week because you’re too worn out to cook or go grocery shopping: You’re feeding your kids, and hey, I bet they aren’t complaining! Sometimes sanity can indeed be found in a red box with a big yellow M on it. You’re a good mom.
To the mom who gave her kids a homecooked breakfast lunch and dinner for the past week: Excellent! Good nutrition is important, and they’re learning to enjoy healthy foods at an early age, a boon for the rest of their lives. You’re a good mom.
To the mom with the kids who are sitting quietly and using their manners in the fancy restaurant: Kudos, it takes a lot to maintain order with children in a place where they can’t run around. You’re a good mom.
To the mom with the toddler having a meltdown in the cereal aisle: they always seem to pick the most embarrassing places to lose their minds don’t they? We’ve all been through it. You’re a good mom.
To the moms who judge other moms for ANY of the above? Glass houses, friend. Glass houses.