Making learning fun

Baby J is almost 18 months, and people have been asking me if I am planning to send her to Childcare soon.  My answer is "No." I am saying No because the minute your child goes to school (be it childcare, pre-school, kindergarten, etc), they are automatically more prone to infections.  Next, no one really watches what they eat in school anymore, unlike when they are at home being watched over.  Another reason is the debate of when is it too early to send your child to school.  Some people say that it burns out the child too early if they are sent to school at such a young age.  Some studies have shown no major difference if you send your child to school early or late, but others are showing that children tend to perform better if they are not prematurely made to go to school.  

Mine is just a personal opinion.  I am not imposing it on anyone, and I am not judging people who send their kids to school early. To each his own.  No one has the right to say that he is right and you are wrong.  But one thing is for sure, to make kids learn, they should find enjoyment in what they do.  I would just like to share what Baby J and I do to make learning fun for her.

 1. Teaching through music.  Baby J loves music.  She would even stop walking when she hears a song just to dance to the beat.  She would also verbalize the song she wants the hubby or I to play.  So, because of this interest, I try to teach her by way of music.  I teach her ABCs by singing different versions of the ABC song.  I teach her body parts through song as well.  She gives me her undivided attention when I sing her songs, at the same time, she is learning through the song as well.

2. Let the environment be your book.  I take advantage of the things we see around us, and the places we go to teach Baby J. When we see a bird or a dog in the park, I tell her about them.  When we see fruits in the grocery, I tell her what they are, even discussing their colors with her.  By doing this, I know I am imparting knowledge while she is out exploring her surroundings.

3.  Functions of daily living can be a lesson as well.  Everyday, when I play with Baby J in the shower, I try to teach her the different parts of her body.  I also teach her how she should clean herself in the shower.  As a result, I am proud to say that as early as 15 months, she can already identify 7 body parts (when, based on the Developmental milestone, she is only required to be able to name 2 to be at par with age).  Now, she not only points to those body parts when asked, she can even name some of them herself.

4.  Tell her stories.  During our down time, I just tell Baby J stories about the things around us.  She listens intently to my stories when I do that, and even tries to converse with me in her unique baby language.  We also never used baby talk with baby J.  I think this also helped her to understand adult words faster.  Even before she turned one, she could already follow simple commands, proving to us that she really does understand what we are saying.

5.  Correlate with things your baby already knows.  I am proud to say that I taught baby J how to say her auntie's name (A-i), by teaching her to use the words and sounds she already knows.  True enough, after teaching her just once how to say it, she has learned it and has been fondly calling her "A-i" a lot!

 I am not lucky enough to spend the whole day with baby J as I am working full time as well.  But every spare minute I have, I try to spend it with her, taking advantage of whatever situation we experience to allow her to learn things.  You will be surprised how fast babies and toddlers learn. Do not think of teaching them as a chore, because in the process of teaching them, you will learn many things as well.  I hope you've picked up a few tips and tricks from this.

Learning about our child's EQ

Babies grow up very fast.  One day they are so dependent on you for everything, the next day, they start to let go of your hand and start exploring the world on their own.  Before you even have time to catch your breath, your baby is already a grown-up.

Baby J is now 17 months old.  It has been 17 months of joy and hardship for the hubby and I.  It is so much fun to watch Baby J learn new things everyday.  She is like a sponge.  She absorbs everything she sees and hears.  Everyday, she learns new words to say, does new things, and discovers things she likes and doesn't like. 

It is also at this stage, where our actions influence our kids the most.  Babies observe and absorb everything around them, from the environment, to our disposition, to how we react to things around us.  They are smarter than what we give them credit for.  

Hence, I would like to share the article below about our children's EQ.  EQ is not innate within a child.  It is also influenced by the environment and by the people around the child.  Please read on to find out the ten things you need to know about your child's EQ.

What You Need To Know About Your Child’s EQ (Emotional Intelligence)

By Randall Zernzach, MD, Developmental/Behavioral Pediatrician

We all want the best for our child. We want them to be healthy, happy and successful. But, we place so much emphasis on their IQ and behaviors that we neglect the importance of understanding their EQ, and how it can make a difference in their personal success. Here are ten things you need to know about your child’s EQ:

1. “Babies communicate with emotions before they learn to speak.” Emotions are truly “the language of infancy.” Long before a functional expressive vocabulary develops, children have a large repertoire of emotional expressions- anger, fear, sadness, joy, love, surprise, shame, guilt, and embarrassment.
2. “Emotions, even negative ones, are natural and have a purpose.” Emotions are an essential part of what makes us human. They have functions for us that are very important. Feelings “inform” our higher cognitive abilities. Fear, for example, can serve to keep us safe and help us make good choices. ANGER can help motivate us to make positive changes in our environment. Sadness lets us know the extent of the love and joy we are capable of.
3. “Negative emotions need to be validated, not dismissed.” Successful management and regulation of negative emotions is a prerequisite to finding long-term joy and happiness in life. A child cannot learn to manage negative feelings if he is not taught the first steps in recognizing them in himself when they are being experienced. It is very difficult to see your child feeling sad or angry. However, when you do not allow them to express the feeling, you lower their emotional intelligence.
4. “Children need a safe environment to express their feelings.” A child needs a home where they are free to express their feelings and emotions without punishment, ridicule, or shame. By allowing children a safe expression of their emotions you increase their self-esteem, and build a relationship of trust, Home is the optimal environment for nurturing emotional intelligence, and connecting with your child.
5. “Children feel emotions intensely.” Children are not able to easily control an emotion that surfaces (it may even surprise them!). It is best to coach children to what they can learn to control: what they do with the emotion. For example, “it’s OK to feel angry inside, it’s not OK to hit, kick or bite.” When calm is restored, a discussion about triggering events or solving problems can ensue.
6. “Children need to learn and practice identifying, labeling, and managing emotions (i.e. EQ skills) at an early age.” Children need to be taught from infancy and beyond toddler years how to identify, label and manage their emotions. Like learning any new developmental skill of importance, education and practice is needed. There will be “failures”- lots of them. But there will be successes too as automatic neurological-pathways of response are established. Parents can increase a child’s EQ (emotional intelligence) by coaching and creating teaching moments in everyday home life starting at birth.
7. “Encourage ‘I’ statements.” Encourage the habit of expressing what you feel instead of what’s wrong (or right) with a situation. For example, “I feel mad when you say mean words like that,” or “I feel happy inside when you share with me.”
8. “Know ahead of time what to say during an emotional display.” Many parents “shoot from the hip” when trying to calm down an emotional toddler. There is a great sense of satisfaction that comes from knowing at least how to start coaching your child through his strong expressions of emotions before they occur. And, most importantly, you are more able to control your own emotional reactivity and teach effectively.
9. “Model appropriate EQ skills yourself.” Children are always watching their parent’s emotional reactions in every day situations. In many ways, children mirror our own behavior. Therefore, start identifying your own feelings, and be aware of how you manage them. If you’re angry and yelling, chances are you’ll find your child yelling too! Remember, “School is never out at home.”
10. “EQ skills can be taught by parents and learned by children.” It is now widely accepted that a child’s EQ can be profoundly affected by parenting and environment. It is much less genetically predisposed than the IQ. An EQ smart parent can have an EQ smart child. Learn how to be your child’s own EQ Coach.

"Mommy, Mommy, Mommy..."

Baby J is now at an age where she can express what she likes and what she doesn't like.  She can express it in her own language, in actions, or by the language we adults are currently using, modern English.

She is also at the stage where she can be very clingy to Mommy.  She will not go with anyone, she will not go anywhere, if it is not Mommy.  I will be lying to you if I tell you I do not get tired of this set-up.  I cannot even go to the toilet, much less take a shower, in peace.  That small voice will start shouting: "Mommy! Mommy!" when I start to walk away from her, even after explaining to her about where I am going or what I am going to do. She will also start knocking (yes, she has learned how to knock this early) on the bathroom door just to see my face.  True, it is indeed very tough to not be able to do the things you have to do.  But, on the other hand, I am just savoring the moment.

The daily routine with baby J, the sweet talks and cuddles as we wind down for the night, are the things I look forward to each day.  I know that there will come a time when she will not want to be this clingy to Mommy.  There will come a time when she might even avoid Mommy and keep secrets from Mommy.  That time may or may not arrive, but at least, for the moment, I am everything to her, as she is everything to me.  She may not remember all the things we are doing now, but I am sure the feeling that she has always been the top priority of Mommy and Daddy will linger and help her grow up to be a fine, young lady in the future.  

Dealing with Gastroenteritis

Baby J just recovered from a bout of Gastroenteritis (which lasted all of 5 days).  It was 5 days of hell for the family, for baby J it was the total feeling of being unwell and not understanding why it's happening to her, for the hubby and I, it was the constant fear of our baby being dehydrated from all the fluid loss from both the diarrhea and vomiting.

Being both medical doctors, we of course, knew what to look out for, but when you see your baby having 6 episodes of diarrhea per day with 4 episodes of vomiting, you become extra scared because you know that dehydration is especially dangerous for babies who have a smaller fluid volume.

But the past few days of baby J's illness made me appreciate breastfeeding even more.  Even if baby J had no appetite for solid food, she at least, still continued breastfeeding (maybe even more so during this time). And because breast milk contains more whey proteins than casein, it allowed for quick and easy digestion for her.  At least, I knew she was still being nourished despite her high output.

This experience thus prompted me to share some important things regarding dehydration.

Bring your child to the doctor when you see the following WARNING SIGNS (taken from National University Hospital Kids Gastroenteritis information pamphlet):

• Signs of dehydration:
• No tears when crying
• Sunken eyes
• Less than 5 wet diapers in one day
• Dry skin, mouth, and tongue
• Sunken fontanelle
• Not willing to drink
• Frequent vomiting for more than 4 to 6 hours
• More than 6 large volume, watery diarrheas in one day
• Stomach pain that is severe and does not stop
• Fast breathing
• Very sleepy or very fussy
• Cool or grayish skin
• Severe head or neck pain
• Green vomitus
• Blood in the vomit or diarrhea
• Crying and bringing the knees up to stomach
• Fever of above 39 degrees celsius, for longer than 12 hours

 It is always heart-breaking to see your child fall ill, but in these situations, vigilance is key.  Just read through it, it may come in handy one day (although, I, of course do not wish for any parent to have the need for it if possible).