Tuesday, November 26, 2013
Travelling without Baby
Exactly one week ago, I took my first business trip without my baby. That was the first time I travelled light in ages. In fact, I did not even have to check-in my luggage. I was supposed to feel relieved and more comfortable. But, it didn't make much difference to me. I was still travelling with baggage. I travelled with a heavy heart, having to leave my daughter for the first time since she was born.
I was very worried that she won't be able to sleep without me, that she would cry when she didn't see me come home that night. But, babies are naturally resilient and tougher than they look. She was actually fine in the three days I was away. She ate very well the whole time, played, slept, and did her daily routine. She also never cried, except for brief periods in the wee hours of the morning (as usual).
I missed her terribly when I was away, and I was very worried about how she would react to my absence. But as it turns out, the baby is tougher than the mommy. She was quite happy in the company of her dad, grandparents, aunt, and uncle, while I was miserably counting the hours until I came home to be with her again.
This experience taught me that we should never underestimate the little humans. They are tougher than we take them for. But of course, I still want to be with her as much as possible. After all, our kids need our presence and not our presents, as the saying goes.
Monday, November 4, 2013
A Good Mom
While in the mall a few days ago, I chanced upon a colleague from work. Since I was with my family, I naturally introduced her to everyone (my parents, the husband, and our baby). We started talking about my baby. Knowing the nature of my job, she eventually asked me who was taking care of our baby when I had to travel. So, I mentioned that I bring along the baby on all my trips, to which she replied: " Ah, you're a good Mommy!"
I never once stopped and thought about whether I was being a good Mommy to my daughter or not. I always just tried to do my best. But hearing those words was actually quite flattering, especially coming from a "veteran mom".
But while some people commend me for trying my best to balance home life with career, I have also met some mothers who have criticized me for it. One even told me that I have an issue of not being able to "let go". Well, I say, different strokes for different folks. How can I let go of a baby who cannot walk, cannot talk, and cannot even feed herself yet? I do not plan on coddling my baby, but I do not want to force her to mature before she is ready either.
Who's to judge whether you are a good mom or a bad mom? For me, as long as you do your best for the welfare of your child, you are already a good mother. Different mothers have different ideas on how to raise their kids. So if someone has a different style than yours, it doesn't make them a bad mother. We just need to be more open minded.
I would also like to share this article (written by a mother) that has been floating around on facebook. I'm sorry I do not know the name of the woman who wrote this, but what she wrote is so apt for this post. Here it goes:
To the mom who’s breastfeeding: Way to go! It really is an amazing gift to give your baby, for any amount of time that you can manage! You’re a good mom.
To the mom who’s formula feeding: Isn’t science amazing? To think there was a time when a baby with a mother who couldn’t produce enough would suffer, but now? Better living through chemistry! You’re a good mom.
To the cloth diapering mom: Fluffy bums are the cutest, and so friendly on the bank account. You’re a good mom.
To the disposable diapering mom: Damn those things hold a lot, and it’s excellent to not worry about leakage and laundry! You’re a good mom.
To the mom who stays home: I can imagine it isn’t easy doing what you do, but to spend those precious years with your babies must be amazing. You’re a good mom.
To the mom who works: It’s wonderful that you’re sticking to your career, you’re a positive role model for your children in so many ways, it’s fantastic. You’re a good mom.
To the mom who had to feed her kids from the drive thru all week because you’re too worn out to cook or go grocery shopping: You’re feeding your kids, and hey, I bet they aren’t complaining! Sometimes sanity can indeed be found in a red box with a big yellow M on it. You’re a good mom.
To the mom who gave her kids a homecooked breakfast lunch and dinner for the past week: Excellent! Good nutrition is important, and they’re learning to enjoy healthy foods at an early age, a boon for the rest of their lives. You’re a good mom.
To the mom with the kids who are sitting quietly and using their manners in the fancy restaurant: Kudos, it takes a lot to maintain order with children in a place where they can’t run around. You’re a good mom.
To the mom with the toddler having a meltdown in the cereal aisle: they always seem to pick the most embarrassing places to lose their minds don’t they? We’ve all been through it. You’re a good mom.
To the moms who judge other moms for ANY of the above? Glass houses, friend. Glass houses.
I never once stopped and thought about whether I was being a good Mommy to my daughter or not. I always just tried to do my best. But hearing those words was actually quite flattering, especially coming from a "veteran mom".
But while some people commend me for trying my best to balance home life with career, I have also met some mothers who have criticized me for it. One even told me that I have an issue of not being able to "let go". Well, I say, different strokes for different folks. How can I let go of a baby who cannot walk, cannot talk, and cannot even feed herself yet? I do not plan on coddling my baby, but I do not want to force her to mature before she is ready either.
Who's to judge whether you are a good mom or a bad mom? For me, as long as you do your best for the welfare of your child, you are already a good mother. Different mothers have different ideas on how to raise their kids. So if someone has a different style than yours, it doesn't make them a bad mother. We just need to be more open minded.
I would also like to share this article (written by a mother) that has been floating around on facebook. I'm sorry I do not know the name of the woman who wrote this, but what she wrote is so apt for this post. Here it goes:
To the mom who’s breastfeeding: Way to go! It really is an amazing gift to give your baby, for any amount of time that you can manage! You’re a good mom.
To the mom who’s formula feeding: Isn’t science amazing? To think there was a time when a baby with a mother who couldn’t produce enough would suffer, but now? Better living through chemistry! You’re a good mom.
To the cloth diapering mom: Fluffy bums are the cutest, and so friendly on the bank account. You’re a good mom.
To the disposable diapering mom: Damn those things hold a lot, and it’s excellent to not worry about leakage and laundry! You’re a good mom.
To the mom who stays home: I can imagine it isn’t easy doing what you do, but to spend those precious years with your babies must be amazing. You’re a good mom.
To the mom who works: It’s wonderful that you’re sticking to your career, you’re a positive role model for your children in so many ways, it’s fantastic. You’re a good mom.
To the mom who had to feed her kids from the drive thru all week because you’re too worn out to cook or go grocery shopping: You’re feeding your kids, and hey, I bet they aren’t complaining! Sometimes sanity can indeed be found in a red box with a big yellow M on it. You’re a good mom.
To the mom who gave her kids a homecooked breakfast lunch and dinner for the past week: Excellent! Good nutrition is important, and they’re learning to enjoy healthy foods at an early age, a boon for the rest of their lives. You’re a good mom.
To the mom with the kids who are sitting quietly and using their manners in the fancy restaurant: Kudos, it takes a lot to maintain order with children in a place where they can’t run around. You’re a good mom.
To the mom with the toddler having a meltdown in the cereal aisle: they always seem to pick the most embarrassing places to lose their minds don’t they? We’ve all been through it. You’re a good mom.
To the moms who judge other moms for ANY of the above? Glass houses, friend. Glass houses.
Saturday, August 17, 2013
Being fair
We just got back from another business trip, Vietnam this time. Since it was a last minute trip, the husband could not get away from work. Luckily, my sister was able to join us.
Every business trip is a family affair for us, since arrangements also have to be made for our daughter. I am fortunate to have a family who would go the extra mile (maybe even a few thousand miles in our case, both literally and figuratively) just to help us out.
During my trip, I met up with a lady CEO who was very surprised when she found out I brought my baby with me. So, I told her: "I am doing this because I want to be fair to my daughter." This statement actually made her stop and think if she had been fair to her own children during her pursuit of a Master's degree and a PhD.
My statement has also made me stop and think. In fact, I am still thinking about it until now. Bringing my daughter on all my trips is very taxing for everyone involved, even for her, since she has to get used to a new environment every time. It is not only physically tiring, it is also financially not beneficial as well.
But despite everything, I still choose to bring her with me. I do not want to deprive my daughter of my love, attention, and time just because I need to earn a living. Although,we, as parents, are working hard for her future, it does not justify letting her grow up without her parents' love and care. Even if it means being able to work only after she goes to bed at night (and working until the wee hours of the morning) to meet deadlines and finish presentations.
I believe it is this feeling of love and importance she is receiving that has made her become the baby that she is - happy, loving, and sweet.
Every business trip is a family affair for us, since arrangements also have to be made for our daughter. I am fortunate to have a family who would go the extra mile (maybe even a few thousand miles in our case, both literally and figuratively) just to help us out.
During my trip, I met up with a lady CEO who was very surprised when she found out I brought my baby with me. So, I told her: "I am doing this because I want to be fair to my daughter." This statement actually made her stop and think if she had been fair to her own children during her pursuit of a Master's degree and a PhD.
My statement has also made me stop and think. In fact, I am still thinking about it until now. Bringing my daughter on all my trips is very taxing for everyone involved, even for her, since she has to get used to a new environment every time. It is not only physically tiring, it is also financially not beneficial as well.
But despite everything, I still choose to bring her with me. I do not want to deprive my daughter of my love, attention, and time just because I need to earn a living. Although,we, as parents, are working hard for her future, it does not justify letting her grow up without her parents' love and care. Even if it means being able to work only after she goes to bed at night (and working until the wee hours of the morning) to meet deadlines and finish presentations.
I believe it is this feeling of love and importance she is receiving that has made her become the baby that she is - happy, loving, and sweet.
Monday, July 29, 2013
Baby in Hong Kong
The family just got back from a trip to Hong Kong. For the hubby and the baby, it was a vacation, but for the mommy, it was work.
Hong Kong weather during this time was quite unpredictable. It was hot but came with daily thunderstorms, so we made sure to bring an umbrella everytime we went out.
Sadly, Hong Kong has not changed much since my last visit (in 2008) in terms of amenities for babies and young children. Most establishments still do not have ramps for strollers and wheelchairs. If you do see one, you should consider it a "perk" and not the norm. When taking the underpass, hubby had to fold the stroller and carry it down the steps while I carried baby J. On other occasions, we just walked around using our baby carrier so it would be easier for us to go about.
Another thing I noticed in Hong Kong was the lack of a nursing room in all the places we visited. Luckily, I always bring my nursing cover with me anywhere I go.
Being a mom has changed my priorities and the way I see things. I no longer rate places I visit by the good buys I see and the attractions I visit, but rather, by the amenities they have for the little ones.
In this aspect, I was very happy with our hotel. Despite the lack of ramps and baby care rooms/ nursing rooms, our hotel more than made up for it. Upon check-in at the Langham Place Hotel Mongkok, we were already given a "Menu for the Little One". This menu consisted of the basic amenities they have for the little ones as well as the entertainment activities available, all free of charge. The kids also get their own toiletry kit!
I am also commending Cathay Pacific Airlines for their very good service. I never had to request for a bulkhead seat, baby food, or a bassinet. They made sure we had everything we needed during the flight. They also gave us a diapering kit along with Mustela vitamin barrier cream! Even if the charges for baby J were significantly more expensive than the other airlines we have taken, it was worth it.
Despite the lack of baby care facilities in Hong Kong, the trip was still a refreshing one for all of us. After all, home is where the heart is. As long as I am with them, I am happy.
Hong Kong weather during this time was quite unpredictable. It was hot but came with daily thunderstorms, so we made sure to bring an umbrella everytime we went out.
Sadly, Hong Kong has not changed much since my last visit (in 2008) in terms of amenities for babies and young children. Most establishments still do not have ramps for strollers and wheelchairs. If you do see one, you should consider it a "perk" and not the norm. When taking the underpass, hubby had to fold the stroller and carry it down the steps while I carried baby J. On other occasions, we just walked around using our baby carrier so it would be easier for us to go about.
Another thing I noticed in Hong Kong was the lack of a nursing room in all the places we visited. Luckily, I always bring my nursing cover with me anywhere I go.
Being a mom has changed my priorities and the way I see things. I no longer rate places I visit by the good buys I see and the attractions I visit, but rather, by the amenities they have for the little ones.
In this aspect, I was very happy with our hotel. Despite the lack of ramps and baby care rooms/ nursing rooms, our hotel more than made up for it. Upon check-in at the Langham Place Hotel Mongkok, we were already given a "Menu for the Little One". This menu consisted of the basic amenities they have for the little ones as well as the entertainment activities available, all free of charge. The kids also get their own toiletry kit!
I am also commending Cathay Pacific Airlines for their very good service. I never had to request for a bulkhead seat, baby food, or a bassinet. They made sure we had everything we needed during the flight. They also gave us a diapering kit along with Mustela vitamin barrier cream! Even if the charges for baby J were significantly more expensive than the other airlines we have taken, it was worth it.
Despite the lack of baby care facilities in Hong Kong, the trip was still a refreshing one for all of us. After all, home is where the heart is. As long as I am with them, I am happy.
Saturday, July 20, 2013
Travelling with baby
We are going to Hong Kong tomorrow. The hubby, baby, and myself, for yet another work-related event. It has been awhile since my last visit to Hong Kong. Let us see how difficult/ easy it is to go around with baby J. I will chronicle it after I get back.
But before we even get there, I have to pack for the trip first, rehearsing in my mind all the previous trips we've been on and thinking what things to bring along.
While packing our stuff, I am once again reminded of the many things I need to bring for baby J, even if we are just going to be away for four days.
I would like to share with you what I normally pack for every trip. This may help you on your trips too.
1. Clothes - pajamas, sleep bag, jacket, playtime clothes, "going-out" clothes (depending on the country's weather), matching shoes, matching hair accessories, swimsuit, warmer, hat
2. Diapers
3. Bath kit - towel, diaper rash cream, shampoo, soap, travelling tub
4. medical kit
5. home-made baby food
6. bottles, spoons, sterilizer, bottle brush, dish washing soap, sponge
7. teethers
8. bibs
9. breast pump
10. personal care kit - nail cutter, nail file, tooth brush
Now that I am writing it down, it does not seem to be a very long list. But, trust me, it's harder than it looks on paper. Those ten items are also quite heavy. We normally need one luggage purely for baby's stuff while hubby and I share one. No wonder I hear many parents complaining about the difficulties of travelling with a baby in tow. I do understand where they are coming from. But, despite all these very tedious, detailed preparation, I would still choose to travel with my baby anytime than leave her behind. Especially now that separation anxiety is part of her developmental milestone.
But before we even get there, I have to pack for the trip first, rehearsing in my mind all the previous trips we've been on and thinking what things to bring along.
While packing our stuff, I am once again reminded of the many things I need to bring for baby J, even if we are just going to be away for four days.
I would like to share with you what I normally pack for every trip. This may help you on your trips too.
1. Clothes - pajamas, sleep bag, jacket, playtime clothes, "going-out" clothes (depending on the country's weather), matching shoes, matching hair accessories, swimsuit, warmer, hat
2. Diapers
3. Bath kit - towel, diaper rash cream, shampoo, soap, travelling tub
4. medical kit
5. home-made baby food
6. bottles, spoons, sterilizer, bottle brush, dish washing soap, sponge
7. teethers
8. bibs
9. breast pump
10. personal care kit - nail cutter, nail file, tooth brush
Now that I am writing it down, it does not seem to be a very long list. But, trust me, it's harder than it looks on paper. Those ten items are also quite heavy. We normally need one luggage purely for baby's stuff while hubby and I share one. No wonder I hear many parents complaining about the difficulties of travelling with a baby in tow. I do understand where they are coming from. But, despite all these very tedious, detailed preparation, I would still choose to travel with my baby anytime than leave her behind. Especially now that separation anxiety is part of her developmental milestone.
Monday, July 15, 2013
Baby-friendly Singapore
I've been living in Singapore for almost 5 years now. Many of my life's milestones happened in these 5 years: I got engaged, I got married, I changed career, I became pregnant, and I had a baby.
Living in Singapore while working full-time and having a baby is a very tricky thing. Infant care is very expensive, especially for foreigners who do not get government subsidy. Daytime nannies are also hard to come by. Stay-in nannies you can trust your babies with are even harder to come by. Because of all these, my husband and I are still very hands-on with our baby, juggling both our full-time work schedule with the care of our baby.
But once you have overcome this obstacle, having a baby in Singapore is actually quite good. Even if the country's fertility rate is very low, I would like to think this country is "baby-friendly". Why do I say this, you ask?
Well, I am still breastfeeding my baby full-time (yes, I am full-time everything) so the first thing I do when I go to any establishment is check to see whether there is a baby care area/mum's room/nursing room. I am glad that most malls I have been to, have very nice, cozy baby care rooms. I am comparing this to the countries I have brought my baby along with me on my business trips (we have been to 5 countries already, with the sixth one this coming weekend).
In most of these other countries, they do not have a dedicated breastfeeding room for nursing Moms. In those few establishments who do have such rooms, there is usually just one or two available in the entire establishment.
In those places where there are no nursing rooms, I had to resort to sitting on the toilet seat just so I can feed my baby while maintaining my privacy. In other places where there are no toilet seat cover provided, I had to nurse my baby standing!
Ramps are also another thing that some establishments and buildings have forgotten to add in. But these are the important things for anyone travelling with very young kids.
Nursing rooms and ramps may not be a big deal for some people, but once you have experienced having to nurse your baby standing in a very warm toilet cubicle, or having to carry the stroller on a flight of stairs because they do not have an elevator or even a ramp, only then will you appreciate those little things.
I have never appreciated this country as much as I do now. Thank you for being so considerate to all the parents with kids.
Living in Singapore while working full-time and having a baby is a very tricky thing. Infant care is very expensive, especially for foreigners who do not get government subsidy. Daytime nannies are also hard to come by. Stay-in nannies you can trust your babies with are even harder to come by. Because of all these, my husband and I are still very hands-on with our baby, juggling both our full-time work schedule with the care of our baby.
But once you have overcome this obstacle, having a baby in Singapore is actually quite good. Even if the country's fertility rate is very low, I would like to think this country is "baby-friendly". Why do I say this, you ask?
Well, I am still breastfeeding my baby full-time (yes, I am full-time everything) so the first thing I do when I go to any establishment is check to see whether there is a baby care area/mum's room/nursing room. I am glad that most malls I have been to, have very nice, cozy baby care rooms. I am comparing this to the countries I have brought my baby along with me on my business trips (we have been to 5 countries already, with the sixth one this coming weekend).
In most of these other countries, they do not have a dedicated breastfeeding room for nursing Moms. In those few establishments who do have such rooms, there is usually just one or two available in the entire establishment.
In those places where there are no nursing rooms, I had to resort to sitting on the toilet seat just so I can feed my baby while maintaining my privacy. In other places where there are no toilet seat cover provided, I had to nurse my baby standing!
Ramps are also another thing that some establishments and buildings have forgotten to add in. But these are the important things for anyone travelling with very young kids.
Nursing rooms and ramps may not be a big deal for some people, but once you have experienced having to nurse your baby standing in a very warm toilet cubicle, or having to carry the stroller on a flight of stairs because they do not have an elevator or even a ramp, only then will you appreciate those little things.
 |
| My favorite nursing room |
 |
| Who says Baby care areas should not be fancy? |
 |
| Chandelier over the changing table |
I have never appreciated this country as much as I do now. Thank you for being so considerate to all the parents with kids.
Sunday, July 14, 2013
Being a Mom
I
am a goal-driven person. I have always known what I wanted and went
after it. Which is why I have always been a leader in school, in
organizations, and even at work, to a certain extent.
When
I was younger, I actually did not want to get married. I thought about
the many changes pregnancy will do to my body, the limitations I will
have with activities, and the burden of raising a child.
But
as I got older, and finally met the man I wanted to spend my life with,
things changed. We got married. And had a baby. Yes, I am now a Mom
to an adorable 8-month old baby girl. I am still working full-time, but
ambitions of becoming the top honcho at work is no longer my priority.
I still give 100% at work. But weekends and after-office hours are
sacred. It is spent purely with my hubby and daughter.
Being
a Mom is a wonderful, difficult journey. Especially during the first
three months. But, trust me, it will get better and better.
It is quite a thrill to see my baby with her developmental milestones. I never thought seeing her first tooth appear will be so exciting. But it was! I called everyone about it and couldn't stop myself from squealing.
I am still adjusting to being a full-time Mom and a full-time career woman. But I will never trade the feeling of being a Mom for anything in the world.
It is quite a thrill to see my baby with her developmental milestones. I never thought seeing her first tooth appear will be so exciting. But it was! I called everyone about it and couldn't stop myself from squealing.
I am still adjusting to being a full-time Mom and a full-time career woman. But I will never trade the feeling of being a Mom for anything in the world.
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