Raising two kids

Raising babies is not "one size fits all".  Every baby will have his or her own quirks as well as his or her own personality.  It is a new learning experience for us parents every time.

People always assume that baby number one will always be luckier because they get all the attention, all the new things, and they get the most love.  This may not necessarily be the case.  Do not forget, with the firstborn, you are inexperienced parents.  All the inadvertent mistakes and accidents happen with the eldest, but not with the succeeding children.  Take myself for example, when I was a baby, I was accidentally dropped by my parents because both thought the other was already holding me.  But, no issues there, I am still a happy, healthy adult.

Now that I have two babies of my own, parenting has become infinitely harder, dealing with double tantrums and meltdowns as well as double demands.  But there is also something fascinating about having two kids.

From the time baby A was born, the hubby and myself always made conscious effort to give her as much attention and exposure as baby J got when she was a baby.  We also made sure she did not get purely hand-me-downs from baby J.

But, something I noticed with baby A is, she learned faster and reached milestones even earlier than baby J.  I attribute this to the fact that she looks up to her sister and tries to mimic everything baby J does.  Because of this, she walked and ran earlier, even potty trained earlier.  She even acts like she's the older sister sometimes.

Two toddlers running around the house is more challenging, but it is also double the fun.  It particularly melts my heart when I see them so happy to be with each other, to share the world with each other.  Baby J has also matured with the arrival of Baby A.  She takes time to teach the little one - how to say a word properly, help the little one with opening her food, feeding her. 

So, if you are still asking yourself if you want only one child or have more, just go for it.  There will always be more work, more expense, more riot.  But, there will also be more fun, more happiness and more love.  Just enjoy the ride!

Don't stop learning

When we started our family, I decided to leave the hospital for a less time-consuming job because I did not want my children growing up without me by their side, but on call in the hospital.  It was a very tough decision for me because I was doing well in the hospital and I enjoyed what I was doing.  But, for the sake of our kids, one of us had to sacrifice our career to give the children the attention and time they needed.  Being the mother, naturally, it made more sense for me to do it.

I do miss my profession, but I never had regrets about my decision.  Leaving the hospital does not mean I stopped learning.  I even started learning new things.  I did not want to stagnate. I wanted to remain sharp.  So, I made sure to attend courses every year. 

After my husband finished his further studies, I decided to take up a Master degree course. We discussed it and weighed the odds.  I was pregnant with baby A during that time.  Since my course was self-funded,  we decided to start it sooner rather than later.  At least when baby A starts pre-school, I would be finished with my three-year course.  

I applied and got into a distinguished university in the UK.  I started my course when baby A was a month old and baby J was turning 3 years old.  The journey has not been easy for me.  There were many times I chastised and asked myself why I even considered doing it. Besides maintaining a full-time job which involved travelling across the region, I was also a hands-on mom, and an entrepreneur.  I barely had time to read through my lessons, much less submit all the papers that were due, and attend the lectures happening in the wee hours of the morning.  There were times I really wanted to quit. There were also many times I was arguing with my husband already because of too many things on my plate.  The children do not understand deadlines and failing marks.  All they understood was, when Mommy is home, they had to get 100% attention.  I tried to give them that.  I also made sure I passed all my courses, and gave my best at work.  Which left me with five hours of sleep a night, or less.

But, we made it!  I am due to submit the final paper of my second year of studies tomorrow. The next year will be devoted to my dissertation.  My learning journey is not finished.  But, I feel good about myself.  I have done something for myself without sacrificing my kids.

Now, off to my next lesson... drums!

Motherhood

Motherhood is long, tough journey that is not for the faint of heart. Motherhood means sacrificing yourself for your little one. Motherhood means hanging up your two-piece swimsuit for something that will cover up as much of your stretch marks and cellulites as possible. Motherhood is not getting a full night's sleep because your kids are sick. Motherhood is waking up early to prepare your kids for school no matter how late you went to bed. Motherhood is giving up your most favorite food because your kids want to eat it too. Yes, motherhood is not for everyone.  

But, for those of us who forged bravely into motherhood, it also means sloppy kisses at all hours of the day, endless hugs into the night, and unconditional love from those tiny humans.

Last night, while preparing my eldest for bed, I was telling her that when she grows older, she will not want to go out with mommy anymore, that she would prefer to go out with her friends.  She suddenly hugs me tightly and tells me: " Never! I will always want to go out with you! Forever!"  I know she feels this way because she is still so young, but to hear those words from my little girl absolutely melted my heart.

I don't think any parent will tell you that parenting is a breeze.  But, we do it anyway. Because the rewards far outweighs all the hardship.  Children make us feel alive and they fill our hearts with so much love and joy.  I think children prolong our lives just by being around us.  They make us appreciate the little things - the simple joys of spending time together, of sharing an ice cream bar, of taking a stroll in the park.

Yes, I am a very tired mother.  But, I am also very happy. My heart is full.