Starting school and growing up

Baby J will be starting school tomorrow.  The first time she will be away from us for one whole day.  As I am preparing her things for school, I can't help but feel sad that my daughter is growing up so fast.  I know I need to let her go at some point, but I cannot help but worry too for her.  

I know I may be underestimating my daughter's ability to care for herself.  But I now understand what other mothers are going through when they need to send their kids to school for the first time.  You worry that they will not eat on their own, that they will lose weight because of this.  You worry that there may be mosquitoes in school.  You worry that they will be lonely on their first day.  You worry that they may not make friends easily.  You worry that they will not listen to their teacher.  All these anxious thoughts are going through your mind, while for your little one, tomorow is just another normal day.

As I type this, I have both kids beside me, baby A on my lap, and baby J beside me coloring her numbers book.  I am worried of sending them out into the world, but at the same time, I want to prepare them for the world, make sure they will be fine on their own when they grow up.

Such is the dilemma of every parent, I'm sure.  When do we hold on and when do we let them go?  I may sound so dramatic, since my little girl is only going to pre-school.  But now, I understand the emotions of all moms who had to go through this stage.  I salute each and every one of you for finding the strength to share them with the world!

Caring for two

The last few months have been a whirlwind for the family, as we welcomed baby A into the family.  We are now a family of four, travelling with a baby and a toddler in tow.

I would be lying if I told you the last 5 months have been easy for me.  It was not.  During the first two months after I delivered, I seriously thought I might be having post-partum blues.  Even the husband became worried, with him working overseas most of the time, and me, left to care for both kids.  The stress of having to care for a tiny newborn, coupled with the jealousy of a toddler, the pain of a C-section, and the beginning of my Masters studies has really put me in a huge rollercoaster ride.

But I still count myself lucky because I have parents who are helping me care for the kids. Were it not for them, I don't think I can care for 2 kids on my own, especially during the first two months when baby J's jealousy was at its peak, and where baby A was at her most vulnerable.  My husband is also very hands-on, making it easier for me as well.  Even without a nanny to help us, we were still able to go about our daily chores, bring baby J for her gymnastics class, go shopping, and even go overseas! 

There are however, infinitely more challenges when you are caring for 2 kids because both need attention, but they have varying levels of need.  My toddler has been practicing her stair-climbing and jumping ability, so every chance she gets, she tries to go up and down the stairs (without adult supervision), which scares the entire household!  At the same time she's doing this, the littlest one is crying for her milk, vomiting when she has too much to drink. 

With the hubby around, normally, we each care for one child, with myself normally looking after baby J since she asks for me more, while the hubby cares for baby A.  But when baby A is hungry, we then switch kids because baby A needs to latch on to me.  It is not so bad also when it is just me and the two kids because generally, baby J understands what I tell her already while baby A on the other hand, now has better neck control as well, so we go out with baby J holding my hand and baby A on a baby carrier.

At night, once the kids are in bed, I then start catching up on my studies and work.  The husband and I are naturally very tired, but it is still a joy caring for the little ones, and we wouldn't swap the experience for the world!