Being a mom rocks!

Before I got married and had a baby, I always thought about the sacrifices a mother had to make to care for a baby.  The physical changes that would permanently mar your body, the career sacrifices a mother had to make, plus all the attention a child would need.  Because of all of these reasons, I never really wanted to have a baby before.  Until I met the right man and wanted to start a family with him.


Then I had the baby.  Who knew my world would make a 360 degree turn!  The ambitious, goal-driven career woman in me completely took a back seat because I wanted to give my daughter as much of  my time and attention as possible. The woman who did not want to "disfigure" her breast by breastfeeding, breastfed her baby for almost 28 months!  Every decision the husband and I did, we considered our daughter above everything else.  Every trip meant bringing baby J along because not being able to bring her would mean just scrapping the trip altogether.


Motherhood changes a person.  For the better.  I have never appreciated life more, never been happier, never been more content, than when I became a mother.


Of course being a parent to a toddler is not all a bed of roses.   But, I always tell my husband that I think we are still very lucky because our daughter is actually not very difficult to manage.  She would still have the tantrums and the fixed mindset of a two-year old from time to time, but most of the time, she is a very sweet, generous little girl who understands way beyond her years.


But all the sacrifices we feel we have made for our baby are returned to us two-fold by this little person.  The joy she brings us is worth more than anything in this world.


Being a parent is both amazing and unnerving.  Just look at your kids and see how much influence you have on their upbringing.   The way we raise them will be the way they will treat everyone  and  everything around them.  I would like to believe that kids' attitude and behavior are based on the environment  they grew up in.  So, if we shower them with our attention and love, they will grow up believing this is the way the world should be. 


When I watch my daughter during her independent play, I know we have done right by her.  She treats her stuffed dolls the way we treat her.  She would shower her dolls with kisses and hugs pretending the doll is her own  baby.  I know she does this because this is the world she grew up in, full of warm hugs and kisses. 


It is also actually quite funny that the things we teach her, she would throw back at us!   Just this morning, baby J actually told my husband:" Daddy, stop playing with your food!" when she saw my husband moving his spoon around before feeding himself.


Every time I watch my daughter doing her own thing, I am overwhelmed by how wonderful it is to be a mom.  Especially when they come up to you out of the blue and just wants to shower you with lots of hugs and kisses!  It's enough to remove all the tiredness and the bad day that you had, and make you think: "It truly rocks to be a Mom!"

Preparing your first born for the arrival of a new baby

When the hubby and I found out that I was pregnant with baby number 2, we started worrying about how baby J would react when she found out about the new baby.  So even when my tummy wasn't showing yet, I started telling her that Mommy has a baby in her tummy.  Initially, it seemed like she didn't understand and didn't care. 


As my tummy grew bigger, we then started telling her that Mommy cannot carry her anymore because  Mommy has a baby in her tummy, that only Daddy can carry her.  She protested about it for a  few weeks, until one day, she just suddenly told me: " Mommy cannot carry J(referring to herself) because Mommy has a baby  in her tummy.  Only Daddy can carry J."  From then on, I noticed that she never asked me to carry her anymore.  Instead, she would always approach her dad and ask to be carried.  She also started talking to my belly a lot.  She would say: "Hi Baby!  What are you doing?  Are you awake?"  She would also caress and kiss my tummy when she spoke to the baby.


As a mother who was  worried how my only child would react to a sibling, it was quite a relief to see  that my fears were unfounded (for the moment at least, since I am still to see how baby J would react when she finally sees the new baby).  It is also truly amazing how much a two-year old can grasp information.  Often times  we underestimate toddlers thinking they are too young to understand many things so we don't bother explaining things to them.  But I found out very early that no matter how young they are, they do understand the things we tell them.  That is why I told her about her sibling very early.


Another thing we did is maintain everything we normally do with baby J.  We still give her the same amount of hugs and kisses like before.  We still give her our undivided attention.  I think this also helps in making her feel secure that nothing will change when the new baby comes.  I  also always ask her if she will help Mommy take care of the new baby when he/she arrives.


I am still a bit worried how things will be when the baby finally arrives.   But I am pretty confident that baby J would make a very good big sister.  This thought is more than enough to sustain me.

Weaning ...the frustrations and success

Two years, 3 months and 18 days. That is the amount of time I have been nursing baby J. However, it has been five days since baby J last breastfed.  It  was not voluntary on her part to discontinue latching on, but my decision to start weaning her.


Since I found out that baby number 2 is coming, I have started trying (half-heartedly) to wean baby J.  This was met with a lot of tears and frustration from baby J.  So, in the initial phase, I eventually gave in to the demand to latch on.  Because I wasn't home in the afternoons, it was easy to cut off the afternoon feeding. So, she would only nurse at night and before she woke up in the morning.  These two times were the most important for her, mostly just for comfort and not really for feeding since she has been eating food very well the entire day.


But these two times were the most challenging for me, weaning-wise.  Every time I tried to withhold either of those feedings, she would get frustrated and cry until I gave in.  I thought I would never be able to wean her off, which frustrated me at times and caused a lot of physical discomfort brought about by breast tenderness due to pregnancy.  So, I decided to explain things to her, on why I wanted her to stop nursing soon.  I told her about the baby in Mommy's tummy and the pain nursing was causing me. 


My baby is so mature in a lot of ways.  I believe the adult-speak we have always used on her is helping in her maturity.  She understands our explanations most of the time.  In this instance, I believe this helped me wean her.


When I tell her that I am hurting from the nursing, she would then bargain with me and tell me that she will only nurse "fast".  So I would allow her to do this and when I tell her it's hurting me already, she would stop and request for "the other side".  We had this routine for a few weeks.  Because we have been nursing for shorter periods already, she would then request for her milk after nursing.  She would then ask me to hug her or tap her until she fell asleep.  Until 5 days ago, when she didn't ask to nurse before bed.  She just cuddled up to me and promptly fell asleep.  The morning after, she also didn't ask to nurse when she woke up.  We just went directly to the breakfast table.


In a way, I guess this was also baby-directed weaning for us coupled with gradual weaning.  Since she would nurse for comfort before going to bed, I just made sure that we cuddled a lot before bedtime and kept her close as she drifts off to sleep.


Baby J still asks to nurse every time I put her to sleep.  But when I tell her that we don't breastfeed anymore, she doesn't put up a fuss anymore.  She would just cuddle up to me until she fell asleep.  Personally, I think she only does this to try her luck and see if she can get lucky.  That's how cheeky my baby is! Haha.


After months of trying to wean her, I have finally succeeded!  And this is a very sweet victory for both of us.  I did not rush baby J, I waited for her to finally be ready.  Surprisingly, I was not saddened by this sudden loss of intimacy with baby J.  We still do a lot of cuddling before she goes to sleep, possibly even more cuddling now than ever before. 


So, moms out there, don't get frustrated when you try to wean your babies/toddlers.  They will do it when they are ready, in their own sweet time.  Good luck!

The beauty of being a Mom

In the first few months after I gave birth to baby  J, I couldn't imagine myself going through the whole pregnancy process again.  Sure, I knew my baby had to have a sibling, but, the thought of getting pregnant again, with all the symptoms I had plus going through the post-op pain of a C-section, I didn't even want to think of getting pregnant.


But, I fell in love with my daughter; and the hubby and I have been having a blast raising her that after awhile, I felt myself wanting to be  pregnant again. When I saw pregnant ladies  in the mall, I would think to myself how nice it was to be pregnant again.  That was my cue that I was ready for another baby.  I no longer remembered my past pregnancy discomforts, rather, I remembered how much  fun it was to have a little person in the house.


And so, here we are, on another exhilarating journey of pregnancy, but this time, with a two-year old to take care of as well.  This is why I haven't been able to write in the last few months. Between work, family, and pregnancy symptoms, I am bushed!


Things have been more difficult now compared to the first pregnancy, since you not only have to take care of the baby growing inside you, but also the little lady jumping and running around the house who also needs your love and attention.


But of course, with all the difficulties, comes the joy of knowing that soon, there will not  be one, but two sources of joy!  And being the resilient human beings  that we are, we trudge on through the nausea,  vomiting, and what-have-you to experience this overwhelming joy all over again.  That is the beauty of being a mom! 

A story of hope

As parents, the only thing we always ask for when we're on the family way, is to have a healthy baby.  We may have gender preferences when we find out we are pregnant, but as soon as you hear your baby cry for the first time, gender will not really matter anymore.  We all fall in love with our babies at first sight (maybe even before we see them).


When I was pregnant with baby J, I vowed to myself that I will try to be as healthy as I possibly could.  I tried to do everything that would make her as healthy as possible.  I stopped eating sashimi, stopped drinking caffeinated beverages, took vitamins and drank milk religiously, and tried not to expose myself to viruses. So, naturally, I had a very smooth pregnancy.  All our check-ups were normal and baby J was at par with age every step of the way.


Because everything was normal, we knew we had a healthy baby.  When I delivered, we naturally agreed to everything that would benefit our baby (that included Hearing screening, Neonatal screening, vaccines, etc.).  We never worried about anything because even my delivery went smoothly.


But three weeks after delivery, I suddenly received a call from baby J's pediatrician.  The Neonatal screening test results were back!  And there was something wrong with my baby.  Based on the screening test, baby J tested positive for Glucose-6-Phosphate Dehydrogenase deficiency (G6PD).  Being a doctor, I knew it was not a serious problem, that we just had to be very careful with her food, environment, etc.  But, despite this, my world still crumbled at the news.  I cried after I put the phone down because I was already thinking about how her life would be when she grew up, with so many restrictions (on food, on drugs, even on the environment).  I started educating my relatives about the restrictions for baby J when she got older. 


At the same time that I was educating my family about G6PD, I was questioning the validity of the result because both the hubby's family and my family never had a relative with G6PD.  I could not reconcile the positive result with the absence of a family history.  The hubby and I decided to go to the National Institute of Health (NIH) to get a confirmatory test for baby J as well as for both of us, plus a cousin of mine.  Baby J's result confirmed G6PD, and all our results didn't help either.


Despite the confirmatory test, I was still questioning the probability of baby J having it.  So, during one discussion with a pediatrician about this, I was told that we can have the test repeated when baby J turned 6-8 months.  So, when we moved back to our country of residence, I told baby J's new pediatrician about the result and the absent family history.  Baby J's pediatrician then told me that we can do another test when she turned 8 months.  So when the time came, I requested to do the test for baby J, despite knowing that she had to suffer another blood extraction.  I was still hoping that we would get a different result since a lot of factors can affect the initial result.


After about two weeks, I then got a call from the pediatrician.  The result for the test was... NORMAL!!!  I felt so relieved and happy about it.  I trusted my instinct and knowledge of science. 


This is the first time I am openly sharing this.  But I just wanted to share how an unhappy situation had a happy ending.  I guess, there really is some truth to a mother's instinct!  There's more than enough sad news out there, I hope this story sends out a message of happiness and hope.

Going on a road trip with your baby

Even before baby J went on her first plane ride, the hubby and I have already been bringing her around.  In fact, she went on her first road trip when she was just 6 weeks old. 


To prepare for road trips, these are a few things I bring along:




1. Car seat


The use of infant car seats are a must, especially when travelling long distances.  There have been a lot of reported cases of mothers not being able to hold on to their babies when an accident does happen.  Because of this, we always made it a point to put baby J in her car seat whenever we travel, be it short or long distances.  The only problem with putting babies in a car seat is that babies do not like staying there for prolonged periods.


Of course, infant car seats are different from toddlers' car seats.  Do check to make sure you have the correct size for your baby and make sure the seatbelt has been strapped in correctly.




2. Toys


When baby J was very young, I would bring her musical toys and other stuffed animals to try to entertain her for the long ride ahead.  But as she grew older, toys were replaced by my repertoire of songs for her as well as pointing out things we saw out the window.


3. Food


Neonates and infants are very "oral".  They like putting things in their mouth.  So, if you are travelling with a wee little one, then it is best to prepare their milk formula.  If you are breastfeeding, then it is best to bring your nursing cover wherever you go, as babies tend to ask for milk anywhere, anytime.


For toddlers, it is best if you have a few snack choices for them.  Baby J does not like eating only one type of snack, so we always make sure to carry with us many food choices for her.


4. Pacifiers/ teethers


Again, depending on the age of your baby, they may prefer sucking on a pacifier during the long drive or they may want to chew on to something.


5. Extra set of clothes and bib


Because babies' satiety center is still immature, there is a tendency to overfeed them since they will never say no to milk.  They may vomit often because of this.


I had such problem with baby J.  She enjoyed breastfeeding, and as such, had a tendency to feed for prolonged periods and at very short intervals.  This led to her vomiting almost daily, anytime and anywhere.  Because of this, I always made it a point to bring extra sets of clothes for her as well as for myself.


6. Blanket


Our little ones do not have enough fats to insulate them from the cold, so I always came prepared with a nice comfortable blanket for baby J.


On the other end of the spectrum, we also need to make sure that do not become too hot either.


Travelling with babies, whether it is only to go to the mall or to take long road trips, will always mean bringing around a lot of stuff.  But, all the stresses of preparation are worth it just to be able to spend time with our little ones.


So, go out and explore with your babies.  Good luck! Trust me, it gets easier with time.

What you need to know about air travel with an infant

The hubby and I started air travel with baby J when she was just 2 months old.  Being a first time Mom, I was of course, very apprehensive about travelling with my wee little one. But travelling with a baby entails more than the plane ride.  There are countless preparations involved,  beginning with the passport (if you are planning to travel overseas).


Because I knew we were travelling when baby J turned 2 months, I applied for her passport when she was just a month old.  Luckily, the Department of Foreign Affairs (DFA) has a courtesy lane for young children as well as senior citizens so we did not have to wait very long during the application process.


What do you need when applying for your baby's passport?   
1.  The officials will ask for a National Statistics Office (NSO) copy of your child's birth certificate.  But, because the NSO copy for one so young was not available so soon, they will allow you to just  submit the Birth Certificate released by the  hospital.  But, they will ask you to sign an agreement that when the time comes to renew the passport, you need  to submit an NSO  copy of the birth certificate then or your child  will not be granted a passport.
2. Duly filled application form
3. Picture taking  will be done on site.
4. The passport will be released between 2 weeks to 1 month from the date of the application, depending on the applicant load.  When collecting the passport, your little does not have to make an appearance at the DFA anymore.  You just need to bring the receipt.


Different countries will of course have different requirements for passport application so be sure to check with the respective government offices.


Now, you are ready to make your flight booking. 


Here are some things you need to know about air travel with a baby:
1. When booking your baby's ticket, some airline companies may ask you if you are paying for "Infant on Lap" or "Infant on seat".  If you decide to get a seat for your infant, you will of course have to pay the full adult fare or 75% of the adult fare (again depending on the airline).
2. A child from 0 - 2 years old will only be charged 10% of the published fare if the infant will sit on your lap.
3. Each infant is given 10kg baggage allowance.  Strollers and car seats are not charged.
4.  You may check-in your stroller or you may bring it all the way to the boarding gate and leave it with the ground crew before entering the plane.  When you disembark at the point of destination, check with the ground crew whether they will be bringing up the stroller at the boarding gate or it will be brought directly to the baggage claim area.
5.  If you wish to use your infant's car seat on the plane, make sure that the car seat is certified for use in the aircraft.
6.  Bassinets are provided for infants once the fasten seatbelt sign has been switched off.  However, babies need to be removed from the bassinet when there is turbulence and before landing.
7.  There is a height and weight limit for the bassinet as well.  Check with the flight attendant as different airlines use different sizes of bassinets.
8. When placing your infant in the bassinet, do make sure that the head is directed towards the window.  This is to ensure that should the overhead compartment suddenly open mid-flight, any contents that may fall out will not hit your baby's head.
9.  When booking your infant or toddler's ticket, make sure you have requested the correct meal for your baby.  Some companies give the option of feeds for starters or post-weaning meal for toddlers.
10.  In the event that you forget to bring diapers on the plane, the staff will usually have one or two diapers available.
11.  Depending on the company, others may give toys for the little one while others may actually give a diaper care kit.
12. Not all lavatories will have the changing table.  Always check the label on the door before you go in with the little one.


But, how do we actually make sure that our baby is comfortable during the flight?  How do we help our babies cope with the pressure changes in-flight?  These were the apprehensions I had during baby J's first flight.  So, what did I do to address this?


Tips for a comfortable flight for your baby:
 1. Feed your baby during take-off and shortly before landing (once the captain announces that "descent will be commencing".  If your little one is not hungry, you may also offer a pacifier or water to drink for take-off or landing.
2.  If you are breastfeeding, bring your nursing cover and make sure to let your infant latch on during take off and landing.
3.  Bring one or two toys on-board to keep your little one entertained.
4.  Bring teethers when your infant is teething.
5.  Prepare your repertoire.  Singing to your baby will help entertain him/ her throughout the duration of the flight.
6. Make sure your baby is wearing comfortable clothes in-flight. 
7. Make sure that a jacket or blanket is readily available.
8. For toddlers, make sure snacks are available.  Offer it to them during take off and landing as well, to help prevent ear pain from the cabin pressure changes.
9. For longer flights, you may even accompany your toddler to take walks around the plane.


Baby J has been to 12 countries already and has been on short, medium, and even long-haul flights already.  For the 20 or so times she has travelled, I made sure that I had everything ready on-board.  Because of all these preparations, baby J never once cried on the plane.  Now that she is a toddler, she doesn't even make a fuss on board.  She is so used to flying that everything on-board is normal to her.  She would even tell me: " Baby crying" when she sees other infants or toddlers crying on the plane.


Travelling with an infant or toddler should not have to be so difficult.  As long as you are prepared, travelling with an infant or toddler is so worth it.  By the time they are toddlers, you will see that a well-travelled baby looks at things differently.  They also have this appreciation for every new thing they see.  So, go travel with your baby.  The travel experiences you have with them is stimulating both for the heart and mind.