Having kids later in life

In today's society, many women do not marry until they are well into their 30s and 40s. Oftentimes, they also start having kids around this age.  True, that there are so many disadvantages we can think of , marrying and having kids at this age, but for the women who choose to do this, there are also advantages.

I am one of these women.  When I was younger, I would always think about waiting at least a year after marriage before I wanted to have kids.  I wanted to spend time with my husband first, just the two of us before the chaos and joy of having kids.  But, because I married late in life, I did not have the luxury of waiting anymore.

When I got married, I was lucky to have gotten pregnant just one month after the wedding. Despite the fact that men and women are less fertile as they age, I was lucky to have been blessed with a baby pretty fast. However, as much as I was ecstatic to be having a baby, I was also constantly afraid that my baby might not be as healthy, given that I am not as young as other moms-to-be.  I could not relax until I got the result of my nuchal rigidity scan to say that my baby was okay. I was also very conscious of what I ate throughout the pregnancy, because i wanted to make my baby as healthy as possible despite my age.

Sometimes, when I think about how old the hubby and I will be when our eldest goes to college, I would tease him that we would look like grandparents attending our daughter's graduation, instead of being the parents.  We are not very old, mind you.  But, when I look at my high school classmates who had kids earlier, it sometimes makes me think also, if it was the right decision to start a family late.

But, as I look back at myself and my family, I do not regret my decision.  True, there will always be disadvantages, but I will choose to look at the advantages instead. 

1. You are more financially stable.

The husband and I decided to invest in real estate while we were just preparing for our marriage.  So, every month, most of our money would go to the installment of the property we acquired.  We still had the luxury of paying for it because our eldest had not started school yet.  Expenses for our daughter was not so high yet because she was breastfed, she used cloth diapers, and I was home schooling her.

Now that she has started school, the property we purchased has already been turned over to us, and we are about to rent it out to help supplement our daughter's expenses.

2. You have a more stable career.  

Having married late, I have already finished my residency training as well as sub-specialty training in anesthesiology before I started my family. So,  I had the luxury of being able to spend more time with my children. For people in the corporate world, they may have the option of having a more flexible work schedule because they have been with the company for some time and may even be holding a top management position already.

3. You are more mature.

Being a parent takes a lot of responsibility and maturity.  You need to deal with the children as well as your spouse.  If you are not mature enough to handle either of the two, then your relationship may crumble.

4. You are raising intelligent kids.
Various studies have shown that when you have kids later in life, chances are the kids tend to be smarter.  They attribute this to higher educational attainment of the parents, more stable career, and higher maturity level.

Please click on the link below to read more about it.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-2147848/Children-mothers-40-healthier-intelligent.html

The husband and I have a very chaotic work schedule.  But, because of our mutual commitment to be hands-on parents to our kids, we sacrifice a lot of things to make it work, without fighting over the little things.  We sacrifice sleep to bring our daughter to gymnastics on Saturday mornings, even if the urge to sleep in is so great.  We sacrifice sleep even if we are post-call to be there to attend to our children's needs.  Because we are mature enough for all these, believe me, we have made it work for the last five years; two kids later in the most expensive city in the world.  And we are still smiling.

Don't fret about the disadvantages of having kids later in life.  There will always be advantages and disadvantages whether you have kids early or later in life.  Choose the positive.  Stand by your decision and be happy.