Don't stop learning

When we started our family, I decided to leave the hospital for a less time-consuming job because I did not want my children growing up without me by their side, but on call in the hospital.  It was a very tough decision for me because I was doing well in the hospital and I enjoyed what I was doing.  But, for the sake of our kids, one of us had to sacrifice our career to give the children the attention and time they needed.  Being the mother, naturally, it made more sense for me to do it.

I do miss my profession, but I never had regrets about my decision.  Leaving the hospital does not mean I stopped learning.  I even started learning new things.  I did not want to stagnate. I wanted to remain sharp.  So, I made sure to attend courses every year. 

After my husband finished his further studies, I decided to take up a Master degree course. We discussed it and weighed the odds.  I was pregnant with baby A during that time.  Since my course was self-funded,  we decided to start it sooner rather than later.  At least when baby A starts pre-school, I would be finished with my three-year course.  

I applied and got into a distinguished university in the UK.  I started my course when baby A was a month old and baby J was turning 3 years old.  The journey has not been easy for me.  There were many times I chastised and asked myself why I even considered doing it. Besides maintaining a full-time job which involved travelling across the region, I was also a hands-on mom, and an entrepreneur.  I barely had time to read through my lessons, much less submit all the papers that were due, and attend the lectures happening in the wee hours of the morning.  There were times I really wanted to quit. There were also many times I was arguing with my husband already because of too many things on my plate.  The children do not understand deadlines and failing marks.  All they understood was, when Mommy is home, they had to get 100% attention.  I tried to give them that.  I also made sure I passed all my courses, and gave my best at work.  Which left me with five hours of sleep a night, or less.

But, we made it!  I am due to submit the final paper of my second year of studies tomorrow. The next year will be devoted to my dissertation.  My learning journey is not finished.  But, I feel good about myself.  I have done something for myself without sacrificing my kids.

Now, off to my next lesson... drums!

Motherhood

Motherhood is long, tough journey that is not for the faint of heart. Motherhood means sacrificing yourself for your little one. Motherhood means hanging up your two-piece swimsuit for something that will cover up as much of your stretch marks and cellulites as possible. Motherhood is not getting a full night's sleep because your kids are sick. Motherhood is waking up early to prepare your kids for school no matter how late you went to bed. Motherhood is giving up your most favorite food because your kids want to eat it too. Yes, motherhood is not for everyone.  

But, for those of us who forged bravely into motherhood, it also means sloppy kisses at all hours of the day, endless hugs into the night, and unconditional love from those tiny humans.

Last night, while preparing my eldest for bed, I was telling her that when she grows older, she will not want to go out with mommy anymore, that she would prefer to go out with her friends.  She suddenly hugs me tightly and tells me: " Never! I will always want to go out with you! Forever!"  I know she feels this way because she is still so young, but to hear those words from my little girl absolutely melted my heart.

I don't think any parent will tell you that parenting is a breeze.  But, we do it anyway. Because the rewards far outweighs all the hardship.  Children make us feel alive and they fill our hearts with so much love and joy.  I think children prolong our lives just by being around us.  They make us appreciate the little things - the simple joys of spending time together, of sharing an ice cream bar, of taking a stroll in the park.

Yes, I am a very tired mother.  But, I am also very happy. My heart is full.

Travelling breastfeeding mom

I am a travelling Mom. I am a breastfeeding Mom.  When you put both together, it can be a difficult situation.


I travel for work. A lot.  And when I do travel, it is with the whole family.  But, when I need to travel for an overnight trip only, I do not bring the kids along anymore.  On such a trip, the most important accessory I need to bring is my breast pump.


When baby J was almost 2 years old, I had to go on an overnight trip.  I forgot to bring my breast pump, so initially I thought I could last overnight without it, given that my milk supply was significantly less than when she was a newborn.  But I was wrong.  My breasts became so engorged I had to go to the nearest shopping center to get one before I screamed in pain!  I learned from that trip. After that incident, my breast pump is the first thing I pack.


In my earlier days as a breastfeeding, travelling Mom, I would just bring along my manual breast pump to express milk and throw it away.  I did this because most hotel rooms do not have a freezer compartment in their small refrigerators.  I was not comfortable travelling for hours on end with unfrozen breast milk hence the decision to just throw it away instead of risking giving spoiled milk to my baby.  But, eventually, I decided to prepare for it.


So, what do I do when I need to travel?


1. Bring all my ice packs.
2. Bring enough breastfeeding bags.
3. Bring an insulated bag.


When I get to the check-in counter at the airport, I check with the crew whether I can bring the ice pack on my carry-on luggage or not.  I do not want to risk my ice pack being confiscated.


Once I get to the hotel, I leave my ice packs in their freezer straight away to give it as much time to freeze for my trip back home.  Every time I express milk, I make sure I keep it in an insulated bag with label before I give it to the staff for freezing.  I also always remind them that it is breast milk to ensure that they take very good care of it.


Once in awhile, I get lucky and I get to stay in a hotel with a freezer in the room (such as today). This is automatic plus points for me!

Even if the freezer is small, I am happy that I get to keep the milk in my own ref and not in a public refrigerator where I do not even have direct access.


When I am travelling, I make sure that every milk bag contains only 100ml or less.  Even if generally, airport staff are more accommodating with breast milk, I do not want to risk it being confiscated. 


Lastly, I always get the milk from the freezer only when I am about to leave.  I then make sure that I surround all the milk bags with ice pack.  The ultimate goal is to arrive home with milk that is still frozen.


It may seem like a great inconvenience when travelling.  But, seeing the number of expressed milk bags you bring home is totally worth it!

How to raise a non-picky eater

The thing that surprises anyone who has met baby J, is the fact that her appetite is a bottomless pit.  The next thing that surprises people, is the fact that she eats anything we adults eat. When a friend saw how baby J ate, she asked me how we did it?  So, how did we manage to raise a toddler who loves green, leafy vegetables, fruits, milk, and meat?


When I look back to the time that we introduced food to her, the hubby and I decided not to give her the commercially available infant food preparations since these would have more sugar or salt to make the food appetizing for the baby.  I would like to give credit to my husband for blending all of baby J's food.  We started feeding baby J by introducing blended squash to her since we felt this has more taste and texture to make her first food experience a positive one.  We then proceeded to introduce other fruits and vegetables, all prepared with no sugar added and with very minimal salt, if at all. After awhile, we started mixing different food and gave her combination meals.  All of this was mixed with breast milk.


Other things we did that possibly contributed to her gusto for food:
1. Juice was not introduced until she was two years old.
2. No candies and chocolate.  We only eased up on this when she was a little over two.  Even then, she would only be allowed a limited amount.
3. No chips.  Even until now that she is three and a half years old, we do not allow her to eat chips.  The only chips she is allowed to eat are the fruit chips that do not have added sugar.
4.  Control the sugar intake.  Since baby J started drinking cow's milk, we only gave her the unflavored full cream milk.  I only allowed her to try the flavored milk when she turned two and half.
5.  We involve her in the food preparation.  She joins us when we buy food from the wet market, to the time of preparation and cooking the food.
6.  We encourage her appreciation for food.  Whenever she makes any food request, we try to accommodate it whenever possible.  Since she mostly asks for fruits and vegetables, then we happily give in to her requests.  She loves broccoli and watermelon, among other things.
7. No carbonated drinks allowed. Until now, baby J has never been allowed to drink carbonated drinks.
8. Ice cream is a treat, on special occasions.  When she does eat ice cream, she would normally eat yoghurt ice cream.  She does eat the "normal" ice cream too, but not too often.


Now, we are repeating what we did to baby A. So far, she is happy with her fruit and vegetable meals.  Again, all food are prepared at home, with no sugar and salt added.  We are hoping that we will be raising another child who appreciates food.

More on cloth diapering

I wrote an article on cloth diapering in January 2014. Check out the link to the original article here:

http://pedramusings.blogspot.sg/2014/01/cloth-diapering-anyone.html

Aside from the care of your cloth diaper, there will come a time when you will have to "strip" the cloth diapers.  How will you know when it's time to strip your cloth diapers already? 

1. After six months of continued use.
2. When the smell does not go away even if you wash and re-wash it.
3. When the absorbency of the cloth diaper is affected already (e.g. when "leaks" start occurring, often!).

When any of these are present in your cloth diaper, then it is time to strip the cloth diaper.  I was advised by a friend to use RLR laundry treatment (pic 1).  It was very hard to purchase this laundry treatment though, as I had to source it from the U.S.  But it was quite effective.

Pic 1. RLR Laundry Treatment

 Three years and two kids later, the cloth diapers are still doing its job very well!

Having kids later in life

In today's society, many women do not marry until they are well into their 30s and 40s. Oftentimes, they also start having kids around this age.  True, that there are so many disadvantages we can think of , marrying and having kids at this age, but for the women who choose to do this, there are also advantages.

I am one of these women.  When I was younger, I would always think about waiting at least a year after marriage before I wanted to have kids.  I wanted to spend time with my husband first, just the two of us before the chaos and joy of having kids.  But, because I married late in life, I did not have the luxury of waiting anymore.

When I got married, I was lucky to have gotten pregnant just one month after the wedding. Despite the fact that men and women are less fertile as they age, I was lucky to have been blessed with a baby pretty fast. However, as much as I was ecstatic to be having a baby, I was also constantly afraid that my baby might not be as healthy, given that I am not as young as other moms-to-be.  I could not relax until I got the result of my nuchal rigidity scan to say that my baby was okay. I was also very conscious of what I ate throughout the pregnancy, because i wanted to make my baby as healthy as possible despite my age.

Sometimes, when I think about how old the hubby and I will be when our eldest goes to college, I would tease him that we would look like grandparents attending our daughter's graduation, instead of being the parents.  We are not very old, mind you.  But, when I look at my high school classmates who had kids earlier, it sometimes makes me think also, if it was the right decision to start a family late.

But, as I look back at myself and my family, I do not regret my decision.  True, there will always be disadvantages, but I will choose to look at the advantages instead. 

1. You are more financially stable.

The husband and I decided to invest in real estate while we were just preparing for our marriage.  So, every month, most of our money would go to the installment of the property we acquired.  We still had the luxury of paying for it because our eldest had not started school yet.  Expenses for our daughter was not so high yet because she was breastfed, she used cloth diapers, and I was home schooling her.

Now that she has started school, the property we purchased has already been turned over to us, and we are about to rent it out to help supplement our daughter's expenses.

2. You have a more stable career.  

Having married late, I have already finished my residency training as well as sub-specialty training in anesthesiology before I started my family. So,  I had the luxury of being able to spend more time with my children. For people in the corporate world, they may have the option of having a more flexible work schedule because they have been with the company for some time and may even be holding a top management position already.

3. You are more mature.

Being a parent takes a lot of responsibility and maturity.  You need to deal with the children as well as your spouse.  If you are not mature enough to handle either of the two, then your relationship may crumble.

4. You are raising intelligent kids.
Various studies have shown that when you have kids later in life, chances are the kids tend to be smarter.  They attribute this to higher educational attainment of the parents, more stable career, and higher maturity level.

Please click on the link below to read more about it.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-2147848/Children-mothers-40-healthier-intelligent.html

The husband and I have a very chaotic work schedule.  But, because of our mutual commitment to be hands-on parents to our kids, we sacrifice a lot of things to make it work, without fighting over the little things.  We sacrifice sleep to bring our daughter to gymnastics on Saturday mornings, even if the urge to sleep in is so great.  We sacrifice sleep even if we are post-call to be there to attend to our children's needs.  Because we are mature enough for all these, believe me, we have made it work for the last five years; two kids later in the most expensive city in the world.  And we are still smiling.

Don't fret about the disadvantages of having kids later in life.  There will always be advantages and disadvantages whether you have kids early or later in life.  Choose the positive.  Stand by your decision and be happy.  

5 Most Memorable Breastfeeding Moments

Breastfeeding is a fun yet challenging journey, one that you will miss once the journey comes to an end.  I am sure, everyone who has breastfed/ is breastfeeding their child will have many stories to tell.  Here are some of mine: 

1. After giving birth to my eldest, I did not use a nursing cover for fear that baby J might get smothered by the cover.  So every time she would latch on, my mom had to hold my shawl around us to give us privacy. It was tiring having to hold the cover for 15-20 minutes.  We continued doing it until I found a nursing cover that I felt was safe for my baby, a nursing cover that would allow me to keep a close watch on her while she fed.

2. Because most malls did not have a dedicated breastfeeding room, my only option if I wanted privacy, was to run to the nearest toilet. I would normally close the toilet seat and sit there while my baby latches on.  However, there were some toilets without a seat cover! So, in those moments, I had to let my baby feed while I was standing.  It was very tiring, but mothers will do anything for their children.

3.  During our trip to the Vatican Museum, because the tour took most of the afternoon, our baby naturally became hungry.  By the time we were in the bottleneck leading up to the Sistine Chapel, she was already inconsolable. I had no choice but to let her nurse while stuck amidst all the displayed tapestry around us, inside the infant carrier, while continuing to walk. That was the first time I did that!

4. Due to the terrible Manila traffic, I always brought a manual breast pump with me so I can express milk before I start driving home, so when baby A becomes hungry on the road home, she can be fed from the bottle while I continue the drive home. One day, while expressing milk before the drive home, I was so surprised that I could only produce 1 oz of milk despite all my efforts.  I thought something was happening that's why I suddenly could not produce milk.  But lo and behold, as I was washing the breast pump, I noticed that the valve was torn.  No wonder I could not seem to produce more than 1oz of milk.

5. At baby A's baptism, I wore a dress for the ceremony and reception, thinking I would just express milk and let the baby drink from the bottle.  But, our baby decided that she did not want to drink milk from the bottle that day!  I tried to nurse her in the toilet, but because it was occupied, and she was crying non-stop, the waiters of the restaurant decided to use a table cloth to prepare a makeshift breastfeeding room for me. As for me, I had to remove my dress while feeding baby A, in my makeshift room.  

Pretty fun breastfeeding moments, don't you think so?  Please share with us your memorable experiences as well!